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It’s early Tuesday morning, but CM Pug said it’s time to wake up. Who am I to argue?
Let’s jump into our Monday Night Raw Review! Some choices were made, and some Money in the Bank participants were decided on. Let’s get this party started!
Miz TV started the show, with Paul Heyman as the guest. Miz put himself over as a two time Money in the Bank winner and cashier-inner. The less said about that second win, where Otis actually won the case and then WWE realized they didn’t know what else to do with the big fella, the better. Heyman talked about a new wrinkle in Riddle’s match with Roman Reigns coming up on SmackDown: If Riddle doesn’t win, he can never challenge for the undisputed championship again.
That brought Riddle out, which in turn brought the Usos out, which in turn brought the Street Profits out, which got us to our first match of the night. Smooth!
Opening Contest: Montez Ford versus Jimmy Uso
Update: Jimmy is the Uso with red hair. You’d think I would remember that, I watch this stuff every week! He took control early, although I have noticed the Usos falling back on the “regroup whenever they eat some offense” trope a bit more often. After our first break, Montez had a recovery that featured a nice looking hurricanrana to dump Jimmy off the top turnbuckle. Ford went for the Frog Splash to end things, but Jimmy raised his knees and pinned Ford for the victory.
Three stars! It feels like the default but this was a fun match, if a little slower paced to start. The finish was weird, but one could say it sells how much verticality Ford is able to get on his Frog Splash. You get that high and then land on someone’s knees, maybe the wind gets knocked out of you more than when, say, Kevin Owens hits one.
A really long video package of last week’s attack on Cody Rhodes followed, as Seth Rollins prepared to be interviewed by Kevin Patrick. A remorseless Seth said Rhodes was a virus, and he mentioned maybe using a sledge hammer on AJ Styles tonight in their Money in the Bank qualifier. That summoned AJ to dive in and attack Seth, saying it was for Cody.
After a recap of Dana Brooke beating Becky Lynch, we saw a very angry Becky headed to the ring for…
Match #2: Becky Lynch versus Dana Brooke © for the 24/7 Championship
Becky attacked Dana before the bell and stomped her for a while before grabbing a microphone. She told us this wasn’t about a title, but about disrespect. She said she should just win the Money in the Bank case, but for now she’ll keep beating up Brooke. Asuka came to help, a kerfuffle ensued. We didn’t have a match, which is probably for the best. You don’t want one of your top five talents anywhere near that 24/7 scene.
Actual Match #2: Alexa Bliss and Liv Morgan versus Nikki A.S.H. and Doudrop, Money in the Bank qualifier
A tag team match to qualify for an every-person-for-themself ladder match seems a little weird, but that’s what we’re doing. Bliss and her former bestie Nikki started things, but Doudrop was in pretty soon after Alexa started to get the advantage. Doudrop looked good as the powerhouse giant of the match, tossing the tiny blonde around a bit before Nikki came back in. A hot tag to Morgan led to a bit of a shmozz, and Bliss ate a nice combination move from Doudrop and Nikke for two. Brawling continued outside the ring, and that allowed Alexa to toss Nikki back inside and hit a DDT for the victory.
Three stars! Short, but fun, and we got two more women into the Money in the Bank match. Alexa, Liv, and Lacey Evans are all qualified, and I believe they mentioned seven participants will be involved this year.
A recap of the Judgment Day moved us smoothly into a match that was not related to that situation.
Match #3: Kevin Owens versus Ezekiel
This was a result of Ezekiel lying to Owens so he could get a rematch after inexplicably losing at Hell in a Cell. Owens went right at Zeke after the bell with a quick cannonball. Some action inside and outside the ring led to Ezekiel hitting a DVD on Owens onto the stairs, triggering the commercial break.
When we got back to the action, Ezekiel managed to recover from a pinfall attempt and knocked Owens out of the ring again after a running knee. A distracted, infuriated Owens yelled at the guys on commentary long enough to get himself disqualified. Oops.
Two stars! This was a short, kinda not great match mostly designed to keep this feud going while also getting Ezekiel his win back. It seemed too brief to have the commercial break in the middle of it, but I was fine with the countout win. Owens continues to sell his descent into madness like a champ.
After the win, Ezekiel told the crowd that he wants in on the Money in the Bank match. Also, Elias will be returning next week for a concert! I…don’t know what to make of that.
A recap of Cedric trying to get back in MVP’s good graces led to MVP running him down on a microphone before their scheduled match. MVP is focused on Olmos winning the Money in the Bank briefcase.
Match #4: Cedric Alexander versus MVP
Cedric had a hot start, dropping MVP with a nice bottom rope springboard Downward Spiral. Olmos distracted Cedric, and that led to MVP getting the full range of his moveset: Clothesline, Ballin’, Playmaker, win. Olmos dumped Cedric out of the ring afterward and celebrated his great achievement.
Squashes don’t get ratings, buddy! I guess this concludes Cedric’s brief attempt at getting back into full time work on Raw. I like his athleticism and style in the ring, so I hope they can think of something else for him to do besides eating squashes and looking foolish.
Short pre-match interviews had AJ saying he wants to win Money in the Bank to spite Seth, and Seth saying he will dedicate his victory to Cody Rhodes.
Match #5: AJ Styles versus Seth Rollins, Money in the Bank qualifier
Styles went for the quick victory, getting a couple two count pins before getting hit by Rollins. AJ dumped Seth, hit a springboard forearm, and was tossed over the announcer’s table for his efforts.
After a break, AJ was in control in the ring. The pair traded pins, leading into a Calf Crusher by Styles, and a second after a rope break. The ending sequence was fantastic, as a Rollins Buckle Bomb was reversed into a Styles lower turnbuckle suplex. Rollins didn’t miss his next attempt at the Buckle Bomb, but he didn’t connect on a follow up Frog Splash. AJ went to finish things with a Styles Clash, but Seth rolled that into a Sunset Flip for the pinfall victory.
Four stars! A good match that had some fun counters at the end. Rollins and Styles are two of the last men standing in WWE right now, so it made sense to pair them up even if there wasn’t a meaty story leading up to this match.
A brief recap of Riddle’s recent storyline led into…
Match #6: Riddle versus Ciampa
Miz joined the commentary team for this match, which was short but pretty intense. Back and forth start but Ciampa hit some good stuff, including a running knee to the head for a two count. Riddle responded with a knee of his own, and an RKO finished Ciampa.
Three stars! They didn’t get a lot of time, but I thought that the match itself was good. I don’t know what they’re doing with Ciampa at all. Does he work for Miz? Is he a mercenary that isn’t terribly good at his job? WHO’S TO SAY?
Bianca Belair came to the ring for an interview, and let us know she’s not intimidated by Rhea Ripley. Rhea appeared on the big screen to say she doesn’t have to say she’s intimidating, she just IS. Which, I mean, you did just say it, didn’t you? But I digress.
Theory had a quick interview to say Bobby Lashley isn’t on his level, and he’s not worthy of a championship opportunity. Get used to hearing that “not on his level” phrase tonight, he’s gonna use it a lot.
Match #7: Chad Gable (w/Otis) versus Mustafa Ali
Ali and Gable showed some good chemistry in this bite sized matchup, with Gable starting strong with some ground wrestling and Ali countering with a little razzle dazzle. Ali got a hurricane DDT before Otis distracted him, leading to Gable hitting Chaos Theory and getting the win via pinfall.
Three stars! Another short but decent match, but it’s hard to complain about getting too much wrestling on your three hour wrestling program. A lot of people are getting storylines and TV time, and even these little five minute matches are good ones!
A highlight package for Veer led into…
Match #8: Veer Mahan vs Rey Mysterio (w/Dominik Mysterio)
Veer dominated most of this, with Rey hitting some token offense but mostly getting tossed around like a small child.
(Reminder - don’t toss around your small child. I am not a parent.)
After leaving the ring to beat up on Rey’s small child, Veer slapped the Cervical Clutch onto Rey for the submission.
Nope, that was still a squash, I don’t care how long it went. Are we going somewhere with this extended feud between Veer and the Mysterios? I thought it was a way to show Veer’s massive strength, but it seems like we’ve been stuck in neutral since Veer arrived. Hopefully he moves on soon, assuming WWE has plans for the big fella. Maybe team him up with Olmos? Or have the big fellas fight?
Our main event was a pose off between Bobby Lashley and Theory
Adam Pearce was the presenter for this…thing. Theory did some poses, and had a little TED talk microphone so he could repeat the phrase “on another level” about fifteen thousand times. Bobby Lashley looked amused as Theory posed, and gave a little golf clap afterward. Lashley said he was going to embarrass Theory in this contest and then take his United States Championship.
Bobby then took the podium to pose. It turns out the much larger bodybuilder can look EVEN LARGER when he puts his mind to it. Adam Pearce asked the crowd to choose a winner, and they cheered for Bob despite Theory’s attempts to sway them. Theory refused to accept the loss, and said there was one more pose they would do. He then tossed what we were told was baby oil into Bobby’s eyes, took a selfie, and closed the show to some boos.
Imagine paying money to be in the audience for a wrestling show and having that be your main event. I hope there was a dark match, as there often is after those main event talking segments, because that would leave a bad taste in my mouth otherwise.
You know, despite that dumb ending, it wasn’t an awful Raw. We didn’t see much from the new Judgment Day though. I heard that Edge wanted out because WWE wants to move them in a more supernatural direction - maybe they were in a hurry to get Edge out and didn’t really think the rest through yet?
Anyway, here’s our Five Good Things about tonight’s Raw!
1- There was a lot of wrestling on our wrestling show! Despite the main event being a baby oil pose off, we had like seven and a half matches. Even the short ones like Riddle versus Ciampa were fun to watch.
2- The women’s tag match was a good way to start filling up that Money in the Bank match, and I’m sure we’ll have some “can they coexist” matches featuring Bliss and Morgan over the weeks leading into the pay per premium live event.
3- Becky Lynch didn’t win the 24/7 Championship! Yes, this is a good thing. I was thinking about that title last night and came to the conclusion that, at least, it does get some people on TV who otherwise wouldn’t be. But, Becky isn’t Akira Tozawa or R-Truth. Using it to show her continued downward spiral is fine, as long as there’s no putting her into that scene.
4- Ali and Gable had a decent, short match. I hope it means Ali might be done with the whole Miz punishment angle, but also I hope they get a chance to work together again - their styles are vastly different, but also they’re built kinda similar and that made for an interesting bit of wrestling.
5- AJ Styles and Seth Rollins really clicked in their match. It was the best thing on the show, by far, and if you’re only gonna catch one thing from Raw it should be this match. The ending sequence was a blast, and I was sports-entertained throughout the contest.
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