SummerSlam 2022 Review!

 Happy Sunday! SummerSlam was a blast, with some high points and some middlin’ points, but nary a low point to be seen. Let’s crack in and see what went down at the biggest party of the summer! (™) ® ©

Bianca Belair © versus Becky Lynch for the Raw Women’s Championship

My guess: Bianca wins in a BANGER - I WAS RIGHT!

From the entrances to the loaded ending and the immediate fallout, this was the best segment of the show, I thought. Despite the slippery ropes causing some missteps (a theme that would trend throughout the night, and one you’d think WWE could figure out by now - give the refs a towel or something) Bianca was flipping and flying around the ring. Becky held her own as well, looking good in defeat and really working Bianca’s arm. Belair had some great reversals I’d never seen before, and busted out a second rope Spanish Fly that I can’t remember ever seeing her use before. She won with the KOD and got the respectful handshake from Becky after all was said and done.

OR WAS IT? Because as Bianca celebrated, Bayley’s music hit! The long awaited return of the WWE’s version of a Karen finally happened, with Bayley making the long walk to the ring in all white. The question of whether she’d remain heel or be rebranded as a face was quickly answered, as Bayley threatened Bianca and brought out some familiar faces - recently released Dakota Kai, and Io Shirai, who was rumored to be nearing the end of her contract! All three women stood face to face with Belair in the ring when Becky Lynch came to her aid and chased off the new baddies.

I loved all of this. The match itself was easily the best of the night, a FOUR STAR banger that did everything right. The fallout was also fantastic, although maybe it set the bar too high for Triple H’s first pay per premium live event in charge. But we now have three fresh new heels, and a new good guy in Becky Lynch to pair them with along with our reigning champion in Bianca Belair. Here’s hoping this trend continues!

Logan Paul versus The Miz

My guess: Paul, a face?, gets the win - I WAS RIGHT AGAIN!

Personal opinions aside, our first celebrity match of the night was a decent one! Paul is clearly enjoying the WWE life, and he’s doing well enough in the ring to make the “good celebrity guest wrestler” fad more of a trend than a one-off. Ciampa and Maryse joined Miz and had some impact on the match, with Ciampa refusing to leave ringside until AJ Styles came out to even things up and Maryse interfering a few times. Paul had some fun offensive spots, including a figure four, a (mostly) Phenomenal Forearm, and a long distance frog splash from the top turnbuckle onto Miz and the announce table. Logan got the win with a Skull Crushing Finale on Miz and that was that.

Three stars of fanservice for the millions who love the guy, Logan Paul was able to live out some fun WWE fantasies and put on a decent show for the crowd. Miz heeled it up as only he can, and the interference by AJ Styles and Ciampa might lead to a great program between them, or maybe a tag match with Paul and Miz at a future premium live event. WHO’S TO SAY?

After our beloved Maxximum Male Models did an ad for some bottled water, we moved on to…

Bobby Lashley © versus Theory for the United States Championship

My guess: Bob murders Theory, we all rejoice - RIGHT AGAIN!

Exactly what it needed to be, Bobby and Theory’s combined entrance time was probably longer than the match itself. Theory beat Lashley with the Money in the Bank briefcase to start, but Lashley did the heroic thing where the ref asks if he can start the match. Lashley agreed and proceeded to merc Theory, performing some impressive reversals and catching Theory out of midair several times before the Hurt Lock forced Theory to submit. 

A fine little three star match for what it was, which was a squash to (hopefully) put this rivalry to rest and let both guys move on.

The Mysterios versus The Judgment Day (Finn Balor and Damian Priest)

My guess: The long awaited Dominic turn, Judgment Day wins, AND Edge returns to save Rey from a beatdown - I WAS ONLY 33% RIGHT

… which is to say the good guys won, Dominic did NOT turn, but we got a full on Brood Entrance for the returning Edge! So that was fun. The match was what we’ve seen on Raw for the past couple months, with Rhea Ripley providing some assists and some chair shots thrown in. Rey got to do that steel chair slide to the outside that I love, but the bad guys looked to take this one after a Priest chokeslam on Rey when the arena lights turned red, Edge appeared surrounded by flames, and Edge fought off Priest and speared Balor to set up a 619 and (not so springboard as the ropes caused another casualty) splash to get the Mysterios a win.

Three stars! The no DQ aspect of the match only came into play a little as some chairs were deployed. I think it was mostly there to allow Rhea to legally interfere and for Edge to make the save. Not their best outing, but still cool and we’ll see what happens Monday as far as this rivalry rolling onward.

Pat McAfee versus Happy Corbin

My guess: Pat is beloved, and Corbin gains nothing by winning here - RIGHT!

McAfee brought a choir with him to start a “bum-ass Corbin” chant, and a good enough match followed! McAfee mostly got tossed around for the first part of this one, with Corbin doing a lot of the heavy lifting and having a heated exchange with Michael Cole as he bludgeoned McAfee on the announce table. Pat controlled things from there on, after nearly slipping off the top turnbuckle when he went for a Swanton Bomb onto a dazed Baron. McAfee got some revenge after a ref bump, kicking Corbs in the junk in retaliation for a SmackDown downstairs blow by Corbin on Friday. A (again, nearly bad because of those wet ropes) Red Alert (or messed up Canadian Destroyer?) got McAfee the pin and the win.

Three stars! To be honest, it was probably McAfee’s worst match so far, but that was at least in part due to wet ropes nearly killing him a couple of times. Corbin definitely was running this show and he did his part well, and it was all fine. 

Drew McIntyre came halfway to the ring to put over himself and a little fan named Colt, and got some fireworks as he hyped our main event and the upcoming Clash at the Castle.

The Usos © versus the Street Profits for the Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championships

My guess: The Usos, but Jarrett somehow costs the Profits and the breakup is on - I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE USOS AND THAT’S WHAT REALLY MATTERS

How many times can you say that these teams had a great match before it becomes a matter of diminishing returns? Dawkins ate a lot of the offense, Ford had some great moments (although even his frog splash was toned down due to the slippery conditions), the Usos did their moves well, and Jeff Jarrett just kinda did his job as referee. After Ford got a legit two count after that frog splash, he argued with Jarrett, letting the Usos recover. A double superkick on the floor to Montez and the 1D to Dawk in the ring led to yet another title defense for the Usos.

Three stars. It was as good as a lot of their stuff, but at some point you don’t get to do the same thing over and over and not have the circumstances around the match not affect my enjoyment of the match. The story didn't progress, unless you consider the Usos getting a clean win “progress”. The special ref didn’t add anything, or DO anything, and the Usos are out of contenders. Unless WWE adds a new pairing or a new team entirely, there’s nobody believable left to take the titles off the champs.

Liv Morgan © versus Ronda Rousey for the SmackDown Women’s Championship

My guess: We can’t take the belt off Liv this soon! - RIGHT-O, PAST ME

Short and one sided, Rousey took control of this match early and stayed on Liv for the five or so minutes they had in the ring together. Liv is at her best when she’s getting the tar beat out of her, and this definitely leaned into that. After a gut kick knocked Liv down early, a quick codebreaker and Oblivion got Liv a two count before Ronda started applying submissions, and an armbar led to a doctor check on Morgan. She said she was okay, and Rousey immediately put her into an armbreaker, but Morgan stacked her into a pinfall and got the pin and the win, despite Morgan tapping before the three count. After the match, Rousey attacked Liv and a referee, pulling off the full on heel turn (but with a reason for it).

Two stars. A short kinda squashy match meant to do a couple things, which it did. We turned Ronda Rousey heel, and we kept this feud that started at Money in the Bank going, but now with a clear good and bad guy. So in that respect, it was fine. And the heel turn definitely justified Rousey being angry, and that was good too! I prefer Ronda as a face but I get that she’s not the best actress. I just don’t like her heel stuff because it always gets a bit into cringe territory. 

Before we got to our main event, Riddle ran into the ring from the crowd to tell us he wasn't medically cleared to compete tonight before calling out Seth Rollins. Seth then headed to the ring, avoided security personnel, and stomped Riddle's "injured" back. I still don't know why this match was pulled from SummerSlam, but this certainly reminded us that the rivalry continues.

Roman Reigns © versus Brock Lesnar for the Undisputed WWE Championship

My guess: Roman wins, maybe Theory loses his briefcase - HEY, LOOK WHO WAS RIGHT AGAIN (NOT ABOUT THE BRIEFCASE BUT STILL)

Just a fun, enjoyable massacre all around here. Brock Lesnar, got himself a brand new tractor and climbed into the ring by way of a front loader, pouncing onto Roman to start the brawl. They beat the hell outta each other, with Brock loading Roman into the loader shovel and dumping him into the ring. Tables, scaffolding, and barricades were all employed, and then Brock just decided at one point to kill the ring entirely, lifting a corner with the tractor and blocking the view of a lot of first row fans. After both men were completely gassed, Theory (true to his word) arrived to hit Roman with his briefcase and very nearly cashed in his contract…until Brock Lesnar hit the F-5 before the referee confirmed the cash-in. The Usos then arrived and after multiple belt shots, a full on beating by Roman with the damaged briefcase, and a piling on of broken tables and production equipment, Roman got the ten count and retained.

Four stars! This was so dumb and violent and silly and I loved it. Brock on a tractor, flying through the air to start the match, was so satisfying. And despite what my friend and I remember about these Last Man Standing matches, Roman was allowed to keep piling stuff on Brock AND stand atop said pile. Seems unfair, but we all knew the outcome going into this one, right? 

So Monday, I guess we’ll see what’s next. The women’s division got a lot larger, and we moved things into place for a resurgence on that front. The tag division has some questions to answer, but they might not even bother to address that or the world championship scene until SmackDown. And Theory, that poor man, still has what’s left of that Money in the Bank briefcase, which means he’s still gonna be featured on both shows. If you wanna see some highlights but not the whole thing, just watch the first and last matches, as both were fun spectacles.

And that’s it! All caught up. As always, I’ll let you know when I post next via the Tweets @elosopequeno and the Book of Faces. I’m thinking about making a separate Twitter handle just for the writing stuff, and if I do you’ll be the first to know. Have a great Sunday, enjoy Ric Flair’s Last Match, and I’ll talk to you soon!