It's time for the annual LWSW Telluride Horror Show Recap!

A little rain never hurt anyone

Scary Season is upon us and my lovely wife and I have just returned from our annual trip down to Telluride, Colorado for the Telluride Horror Show. It’s a three day celebration of independent horror stories on film and in print, with several notable horror authors and filmmakers making the long journey into Telluride’s scenic box canyon for a weekend of fun. The vibes are mellow, the gatekeeping is nil, and the willingness to strike up a conversation with strangers in line is at a peak for even the most introverted of scary movie aficionados. 

Just what you want to follow to a Horror Show

We took in nine feature films and another 17 short films across the three days of Telluride Horror Show (or THS for short) along with some great food, gorgeous sights, and friendly chats with old friends and new acquaintances alike. This was our seventh straight THS, an event we look forward to every year since my wife first took me down there to celebrate my 40th birthday. However, this year I was a little conflicted about the show. Rising popularity of the show has meant a steady rise in rental prices as well as longer lines. The scheduling for this THS also bothered me a little, especially Sunday’s lack of features going against a couple shorts blocks and some episodes of season two of the Shudder TV series The Creep Tapes. We ended up taking it easier than usual for this festival -- “just” the nine films against the 12 or so from years past -- but I worried that what’s been a small, fun outing might be growing into an event that’s just another big festival with folks who can’t shut up and watch a movie. 

For the most part, I was proved wrong, with the universe sending me some great folks to just talk movies with and have a great time. And while, yeah, there was a full-volume talker in Saturday’s first showing, a loud admonishment from a fellow moviegoer definitely made that living TikTok reaction video mostly shut up. More importantly, while I was venting about that guy with my wife in line before Deathgasm 2, the gal in front of us happily joined in and shared her own story about a loud talker before we went on to share our favorite movies so far, upcoming movies we were looking forward to, and just a general fantastic conversation before our film started. Sam, you’re awesome, and I hope you had a great rest of the show.

Me and my birthday twin!

I met my “birthday twin” while we were waiting for Good Boy to start, a nice guy who was born on the same day, month, and year as me! Who happened to be in the seat right next to mine! What are the odds of that? We talked about birthdays, the movies we’d seen up to that point, and astrology. What my new pal Arvind Palep failed to mention was that he was the director of a short film at the festival, a fact I only learned when several shorts directors were introduced at the beginning of Saturday night’s Sinister Stories short film block! Fortunately I had the chance to admonish/grill him about his film Inheritance as well as his other work, before the show-closing Shelby Oaks, since Arvind and his friend/producer happened to get in line behind us for that one. I swear, the more I learn about what goes into making a film -- even a short film -- the more I believe it’s a miracle movies are made at all. 

We had some fun talks with other strangers-turned-show-pals as well, including a couple that was enjoying the show while doing some marketing for Vic’s tattoo business in Denver, and a couple that we saw multiple times throughout the show but only interacted with right after the final movie to … I guess to agree that the movie should have leaned into infanticide? We sat behind the most thoughtful group of theater kids for Dust Bunny, which was refreshing. And we got to hang out with our festival pals, friends we met on The Last Drive-In Twitter/BlueSky watchalongs years ago and now look forward to seeing IRL at the Horror Show every year. 

All in all, it felt like the universe did its best to make me focus on the positives of the Show. It rained pretty much all weekend, and even snowed on our drive home, but a mountain town in the rain has its charms. The smells, the sounds, the mountaintops obscured by clouds, the pop of bright colors from the tops of aspens along the canyon’s walls…they all worked together to bring a calm quiet to the crowded little town. We saw the biggest rainbow I’ve ever seen as we drove out of town on Monday morning with our pocket burritos and coffees from Baked in Telluride. And we saw some great movies, as we do every year. 

I took quick notes after each show, and I’ll lead with those and give you my thoughts. I’m no professional critic, but I have been watching horror for my entire life, and spent my formative years in a mom-and-pop video store that my mom worked at. So, without further ado:

LET’S WATCH SOME WRE -- er, LET’S WATCH SOME SCARY MOVIES! 

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 10

from Demons

DEMONS

“Bonkers, classic Italian gorefest”

I mean, it is what it says on the tin. Demons takes place almost entirely inside a German movie theater that’s holding an invitation-only premiere for a horror movie. Unfortunately, a promotional mask set up on a kickass dirtbike in the theater lobby cuts a person, who is then transformed into a demon, who then attacks her friend who is also turned into a demon, and before long we’ve got a theater full of demons. There’s not a lot of sense to the plot (why is there a helicopter? Why do we introduce four new characters when we already had a theater full? Why did the blind guy’s assistant have her lusty partner meet her at the theater while she was describing the movie to said blind guy?) but we aren’t here for plot. We’re here for gore and that bright red Italian movie blood, and we got buckets of both. 

I’ve seen Demons several times, but it was the first watch for my wife as well as plenty of others at the Sheridan Opera House according to the preshow poll. The whole crowd absolutely ate this one up. Four skulls out of five. 

from Man Finds Tape

MAN FINDS TAPE

“Creepy, went in a direction I did not expect”

Going in, I thought I had a good bead on what Man Finds Tape was going to be -- a straightforward found footage film, something like Poughkeepsie Tapes or even 2024 Telluride Horror Show selection Strange Harvest. What we got was something very different, a kind of mixed-media presentation that combined found footage, interviews, security camera footage, and home movies to create a story about a town that could be “shut down” by outside forces. What seems at first to be a familiar tale of a religious leader with questionable motives quickly becomes something bigger and more surreal. 

Three skulls. A lot of fun, with maybe too many special effects shots but a really solid story to tell. I wouldn’t mind a sequel that builds off the lore this one establishes.

from Dolly

DOLLY

“Weird! 70s-y! Gross!”

The producer of this film, Noah Lang, was in attendance, and he described what they were trying to make as “an 80 minute shotgun blast to the face.” I think the crew largely succeeded. Shot on 16mm film and giving the grimy vibes of 70s grindhouse horror, this slasher-abduction movie featured a surprisingly good cast that included Sean William Scott (of Final Destination, Goon, and American Pie fame) in a role he could easily have said no to, given what his character goes through. Wrestling fans probably won’t recognize them under the mask, but Max the Impaler plays the titular Dolly, and producer Noah Lang said they were a pleasure to work with. This movie is a little mean, a lot gory, and will make you want a shower after watching. A prequel is already in development, according to Lang.

We’re going 5 skulls for this one -- it knows what it’s about and it does it well.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 11 (happy birthday to me!)

Bryan Fuller and Meredith Borders

VAULT OF HUMOR Short Film Block

“Hilarious! Like literally every film funny”

In hindsight, that’s not entirely true. I laughed at all of these short films, but a couple didn’t quite hit as hard as the rest. This was also the first show of Saturday, and I already mentioned the talker that felt the need to describe everything on screen and overreact with a loud OH MY GOSH at every bit of gore/humor/plot on screen. However, we’re not gonna let one loud jagoff get us down mid-review, so we shall move on. 

Damsel in Geekstress was the one short I was kinda low on, as it was just kind of a version of geek culture that makes me cringe a bit. Maybe it hit too close to home? WHO’S TO SAY? Wall Udder was more unsettling than funny, but it still got a lot of the gross-out groans in the theater to call it successful -- and they even mounted the titular wall udder in the lobby for photo ops. Mo refused to let me take one, which was probably the right call for all involved. 

from Weak in the Knees

As for the best, my personal favorite was Weak In The Knees, which revolved around a killer with a particular ailment. Telluride Horror Show regulars Chris McInroy and Carlos LaRotta made CHÄIR, which was about the instructions-ignoring person inside all of us and the consequences of that. Museum of Regret, Five Star, and Whitch were also hilarious, but all of the short films in this block are worth a look. 

I guess it’s an overall four skulls for the block?

from Good Boy

GOOD BOY

“Kinda sad but still good”

This is probably one of the most anticipated movies of the year for a certain segment of the horror audience. A good story from a truly unique perspective that featured one of the best performances of the Horror Show from Indy the dog. A short intro sequence introduces the audience to Indy and his owner, and if you don’t immediately fall in love with that dog and prepare to riot if anything happens to him, you may not have a soul. 

Still, the hard part about taking a chance and telling a story from the perspective of the dog is that the camera is either on the dog itself, or low to the ground in a first-person (first-dog?) perspective, and it can be tough to tell a story from there. Tension is easy to build, as the dog is clearly seeing something his person is not, and the metaphors are not at all subtle in this one, but it’s the technical achievement that shines throughout.  

Three skulls. It’s a solid entry-level horror for dog lovers who aren’t into scary movies and even kids, with some jump scares and creepy images but no real gore or violence to worry about.

from Mother of Flies

MOTHER OF FLIES

“Sad but hopeful and beautiful”

I think we’re a little biased in that we’ve seen all four of the Adams family’s movies at Telluride Horror Show. John Adams, Toby Poser, and Zelda Adams mostly make their movies in and around their family home in the Catskills of New York, and they have come to THS with their films for four of the seven Shows we’ve attended. I even happened to stand in the concessions line with Zelda, a kid who was too good a person to big-time the line despite my assurances that no one in that crowd would begrudge her. The Deeper You Dig and Hellbender were great movies that Mo and I both loved, and while Where The Devil Roams wasn’t our favorite, it was still a good story with some gnarly effects to boot.  

Mother of Flies was about Mickey, a kid with cancer, her dad, and a powerful witch who came to her in a dream with a promise of healing. The movie gets tastefully gory, but the story is great. There’s a scene in which Mickey’s dad tells her he admires her, and you could just feel that this was a speech John really believed when he said it to his daughter.

We stuck around for a Q&A after this movie, and the family was as charming, honest, and forthcoming with their answers as ever. It’s hard not to root for every movie John, Toby, and Zelda (and Lulu, whose appearance in MoF drew a smile and a hand squeeze from us during the film). 

Four skulls. A beautiful folk horror film full of reverence for nature and hope in the darkest of times. 

from Dust Bunny

DUST BUNNY

“Literal movie magic. Spielberg with a dash of violence”

Bryan Fuller was in attendance for his first feature film, and he told us before the screening that he had hoped to make a horror movie for kids in the vein of the Spielberg/Amblin films of the 80s. What we got was one of the most visually pleasing movies I’ve ever seen, with Fuller’s signature wide, colorful shots and playful takes on violence. Every shot felt like a composition, with symmetry and art deco style oozing from the screen. The plot was a kinda heartbreaking tale of a kid who loses her family, and decides that she needs to hire a hitman to kill the monster under her bed -- the monster she believes is responsible for their deaths. 

Mads Mikkelsen is so good as the lead in this, keeping mostly quiet until he starts to interact with Aurora. The cast is fantastic overall, and I think that this is definitely a movie that would be perfectly fine for a kid to watch, with themes that resonate with adults and little ones alike. It’s not horror in the strictest sense, but it does feel like a story that, as Fuller himself said, would be relatable for kids with “tricky” upbringings like his own. And while I was fortunate enough to not really have to deal with that personally, several folks I spoke with around the festival said it really hit home for them.

Five skulls. Go see this on a big screen, and take your kids if you got em!

from the short Inheritance

SINISTER STORIES Short Film Block

“Scary! Fun!”

We usually only check out the Vault of Humor shorts block at Telluride Horror Show. We’re more feature film people, and usually only use the other shorts blocks as filler when there’s not a movie we’re interested in. This worked in our favor here, as we’d decided on shorts instead of subtitled French film Flush (say that three times fast) because of the late hour and our dwindling sobriety/alertness. As I mentioned, this was the block that featured my birthday twin’s short film, but there wasn’t a stinker in the bunch. 

Inheritance, Heirlooms, Harvester, and The Night Within all had themes of messing around with stuff you shouldn’t -- you know, the FAFO the kids are all talking about these days. They all had some good scares and great worldbuilding for such short films, and I’d love to see any of these expanded into features. Turn It Off was a great short tale with a twist, and Animas Forks was a good old fashioned “something in the woods” film. Nightfall was more of a melancholy paranormal thriller, but the leads (Teri freakin’ Hatcher!) sold the story incredibly well. 

Really, all of these were good stories that worked well in the short film format. Four skulls overall.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 12

Things cleared up for day three!

WE BURY THE DEAD

“Looked good, had moments, more a sad reflection on loss than a scary zombie movie. Also Daisy Ridley can't maintain an American accent”

I think I liked We Bury The Dead more than most people at the Show -- everyone I spoke to when we were reviewing what we’d seen so far made kind of an “eeehhhh” noise if they saw this one. It was an interesting story that held my attention throughout, but it did tread ground that basically every “more than just a zombie movie” zombie movie has at this point. You know the drill -- a reflection on what we’ve lost and what we’ve become, humans as the worst monsters, a search for closure in a world that doesn’t offer that easily anymore. 

from We Bury The Dead

Oh! And Daisy Ridley! I like her in most stuff, but her American accent stood out in this film, and not in a good way. She was in Tasmania, and the story could have been tweaked to make her British, or Australian, or South African. But because America was the reason for the accident in Tasmania, she played American -- a fact I didn’t even realize until a member of the Australian military said that they should have banned Americans from volunteering since they were responsible.

Anyways, if you overlook that, you’ve got a Walking Dead style story with a hunky sidekick and some good looking zombies that don’t really do much. It was a good looking film, and had some jumps and some dread, but overall it just wasn’t all that interesting. Two skulls.

one of the few scenes from Deathgasm 2 without a dick on screen

DEATHGASM 2: GOREMAGEDDON

“Dumb fun for metal heads that went on a little too long”

A sequel to the New Zealand horror comedy Deathgasm, and a movie that isn’t necessarily for everyone, as evidenced by my wife’s opinion of the film versus my own. And that’s fair -- we didn’t all grow up hanging out in Benny’s basement, listening to Pantera and Metallica while playing GoldenEye and watching WCW. But I did, so I have a soft spot for this kind of metal-worship mixed with zombie horror.

The problem is that the third act could have been a whole third movie, and Deathgasm 2 could have been a tight 80 minute blast. Instead, the movie drags a little at the end. There’s some fun cameos, including the second pro wrestler of the show for me, but the story is a little light and the dick jokes are … man, there’s a lot of dick trauma in this movie. As my festival pal texted me after I said we watched this one, it’s just “cocks, cocks, and more cocks.”

Three skulls. Or three dongs, if we’re staying on brand.

We met this friendly local while on our way to lunch

SHELBY OAKS

“Probably the scariest movie of the festival. Jump scares, demons, cults, and an interesting blend of found footage, documentary style, and traditional film”

I hold that observation, but they did a Horror Show no-no in the build up for this one by calling it the “scariest movie of the year.” You just can’t set the bar that high in a theater full of horror junkies and expect it to deliver. The scares mostly came in two forms: jump scares with loud noises, and slow camera movements that lead to reveals or more jump scares. And those were effective! I jumped! My hand was clasped by my wife! 

from Shelby Oaks. Those bangs are maintained throughout, despite dire circumstances

The story was really good, and the mixed-media approach of Man Finds Tape was effectively used in Shelby Oaks too. The premise was that a paranormal researcher and her team of YouTubers went missing after going to investigate Shelby Oaks, a ghost town in Ohio. We saw some of their footage, along with skeptical reviews from other YouTubers, and then documentary footage from a crew that was interviewing that researcher’s sister months later. With the police uninterested and social media having moved on, the sister gets her hands on some evidence that leads her to continue the investigation on her own. We switch to a regular movie at that point, and while we do get a few more interview bits it’s mostly a standard horror flick from then on. 

I don’t want to get too far into it for fear of spoiling anything, but Shelby Oaks is definitely worth your time. It’s not the scariest movie, but it is a scary movie, and an effective one that will have you talking afterward. Four skulls.

Until next year, Telluride!

So Long For Now

And that’s it! We also enjoyed three days of fantastic food, specifically from Stronghouse Brew Pub, Uno Dos Tres Tacos & Tequila, Baked in Telluride, and Telluride Truffle. If you ever have a chance to go to Telluride Horror Show, or just to visit Telluride in general, I cannot recommend it enough. It’s a beautiful small town with everything you probably imagine a Colorado mountain town would have -- there’s even a gondola that you know my acrophobic ass ain’t ever riding.

Hey, thanks for reading! We’ll get back to Project Lucha Underground and the usual wrestling blog soon, although history does tell us that Octobers are usually slow for me due to my deep love of all things horror. 

Follow me on BlueSky for updates on Let’s Watch Some Wrestling, as well as live watch-along commentary for most episodes of AEW Dynamite (and occasionally Collision). And, if you’re looking into purchasing anything from a smart fridge to a new drill, check out the writing I do over at SlashGear -- my automotive, tech, and tool-related lists are heavily researched, and ranked after thorough aggregation of expert opinions, reviews, and my own experience as a professional auto mechanic, an unprofessional handyman and a somehow even less professional homeowner. 

Until next time…Let’s Watch Some Scary Movies! And/Or Some Wrestling!

Project Lucha Underground: S1E12: “They Call Him Cage”

 

Good Morning!

Welcome back to Project Lucha Underground. I've got a hankerin' to do some Halloween decorating, but I really wanted to watch a Lucha Underground today and do a little writing, so here we are. It actually looks like it might want to rain, so maybe we'll hold off for a day or two.

It's nearly October, and that's a holy month at Let's Watch Some Wrestling HQ. We've literally watched over a hundred movies in the September/October Scary Season in years past, and while we're not going to try that soon, we've got plans to attend a performance of Dracula in ballet form, a three-day horror festival in Telluride, and a few dozen scary movies at home, too.

Oh! And to update our last conversation, we did in fact go to Tennessee! Dollywood was an absolute blast, with roller coasters, theme park food, and enough good energy to last at least a few weeks. We met my delightful niece, and the kid is a ray of sunshine, just like her mom. My brother in law and my sister are both doing well, and their doggos are as wonderful as ever. It was a refreshing trip for my soul, and I can't wait to see that kid again.

For now though, we've got some wrestling to watch. We've got a new antagonist, some new feuds to set up, and some backstory to establish.

So let’s get back on the clock.

Last Time On Lucha Underground

“Last Luchador Standing” was an oddly-paced Lucha Underground, one that had some big story beats and matches sandwiching some mediocre squash action. Look, they can’t all be winners, and even though part of this rewatch means going through the later seasons of Lucha Underground that I missed on the first go-round, we all know how this thing ends, right? I mean…the show’s not on anymore, guys, we’re not spoiling anything here.

But I digress! The big story beats were really big! The titular Last Luchador Standing was King Cuerno, finally ending his rivalry with Drago in a long last man standing match with a really unique finish -- Cuerno using a rope to lash a seated Drago to the ring post, preventing the blue dragon from standing and picking up the victory as a result. It was a good match, with a mostly clean victory, and I think it’s been one of the better feuds of this still-new promotion. 

The other big event was Big Ryck’s crew turning on their leader, and burning his goddamn eye out with a cigar in the process! As a cigar aficionado myself, I’ll have you know that this is not the preferred way to extinguish your stick, as the smell of singed flesh tends to overpower the otherwise pleasant aroma that a cigar produces. If you’re into that sort of thing, I mean. I’m aware enough to know most people don’t like ‘em, and therefore I limit my smoking to my backyard and the golf course. 

And with that, we’re all caught up! So, without further ado…

LET’S WATCH SOME WRESTLING!

Lucha Underground: Season 1, Episode 12: “They Call Him Cage”

That duct-taped weight bench can't be comfortable. I bet it chafes.

We opened, as we have been, with a recap of the last few episodes. Quick edits of The Crew’s turn on Big Ryck and Cage’s attack of Prince Puma started the show, and then we were sent into the Lucha Underground Temple’s Saw-looking gym, where Cage was lifting a large barbell as Dario Cueto walked in. Cueto told Cage that Cage didn’t just take the bull by the horns, he took it by the huevos. I don’t know what eggs have to do with wrestling, but that’s between them two, I suppose. Cage sent Konnan to the hospital on his debut, and told the world he wouldn’t wait in line for a title match. Cueto agreed with that sentiment, and would be granting Cage a match against Prince Puma for the Lucha Underground Championship. Cage came back with “No, Puma will be losing his title to Cage, cause I’m a machiiiiiiine.” Look man, I get that you have a gimmick, but machines fail all the time. I was literally a mechanic -- my job was to fix those failures. It’s not a given that you’ll win because you believe you’re a cyborg or a Terminator or whatever. 

Then we were in the Temple proper, with the house band rockin’ and our beloved [your mileage may vary] announce couple teased the main event and an interview between Konnan, Puma, and Vampiro. But first, we’ve got a match!

Opening Contest

I love these two, they're like evil PB&J

Mil Muertes (with Catrina) versus Fenix

I love Mil Muertes’ presentation as a Kotal Kahn-adjacent Aztec god. The cape, the collar, the shoulder pieces, they all add up to an old-school luchador out of time. Fenix quickly dodged a charging Mil to start, and Fenix gained the upper hand using his speed before Mil recovered and clobbered the little guy with a decapitating lariat. Mil Muertes was firmly in control after that, tossing the smaller luchador around and countering his speed-based offense with grapples and mid-air catches. 

Fenix ate a spear in the middle of the ring but managed to kick out, which I don’t think happens often in Mil Muertes matches. Mil responded by clubbing Fenix in the corner, but a top-rope superplex by Muertes allowed Fenix to take advantage of a bouncy landing. Fenix caught Mil Muertes with a surprise roll-up and got the three count for the victory!

The most devastating move in sports entertainment strikes again!

That couldn’t have been more than five minutes, but I was buying everything these two were selling in that short match. Given that they were both being presented as superstars, I wasn’t sure who was going to come out on top, although I guessed from the bell that Mil Muertes was going to be going over to start another win streak. Shows what I know! I’ll give this 6/10 lucha masks despite the match’s brevity; Cagematch says it was too short for a rating.

Beer bottles can't damage A MACHINE, man!

We came back from a break to a video of Cage being an action star in a junkyard, as some little guys try to attack him and he, uh, murders them. He’s also doing the voiceover, and he talks about how he’s earned what he’s gotten, and also that HE’S NOT A MAN, HE’S A MACHIIIIINE and they call him Cage. 

Match 2

The Crew just has a great look for its time and place

Argenis, Super Fly, and Aerostar versus Cortez Castro, Mr. Cisco, and Bael

The Crew is the first trios team on Lucha Underground that doesn’t feel like a random grouping of luchadores. On the other side of the ring is, well, a random grouping of luchadores. The baddies look the part, bringing a kendo stick to the ring and dressing like the Lil’ Homies figures I used to collect as a kid. Remember those? Or am I dating myself here?

I used to pay 50 cents a pop for these guys at Annie's Hot Dog stand in River Forest, IL

Matt Stryker and Vampiro performed a bit of victim blaming as this match got started, essentially saying Big Ryck got what he deserved when he was caught “sonning” The Crew by telling them to stay out of his way. I tend to disagree, but I’ve also never had henchmen. Rapid tags and flippy lucha action from the good guys carried this match, but the bad guys were alright as bases too. Aerostar’s hot tag in particular looked cool, as he got some fun Spider-Man-esque pounces from the ropes onto Mr. Cisco. We also got a cool two-man tower from the Mexico City squad, and Vampiro mentioning that means my “random luchador” comment was in poor taste, my bad. This is what I get for typing as I watch. 

Cool guys doing cool stuff!

Cisco uses a move the announcers call a “Curb Stomp,” but it’s less Seth Rollins and more Mexican Surfboard setup, pulling the arms back before planting a boot into the opponent’s spine. Sometimes those moves get sold as being terribly painful, but I gotta tell you, my back could probably benefit from one of those. 

Aerostar was getting pummeled but a great reversal into a backwards cannonball drop allowed him to get a tag to teammate Argenis. Argenis landed a Canadian Destroyer, called as a Sunset Flip, and since I have no good memory for when this show aired in contrast to, say, WWE stuff that was on TV at the time, I’m just gonna assume Matt Stryker didn’t know what to call these moves he’d never seen. That or I’m wrong and these moves just have several names. Who’s to say? 

The back and forth between the two teams escalated into a series of dives, and the pace really picked up as we got deeper into the match. A 3D-into-a-Codebreaker that FTR fans will recognize as a Shatter Machine ended the bout clean with a pinfall victory for The Crew.

I had a lot of fun with this match! Commentary used the time to put over all of the participants while still focusing their attention on the Crew, and the luchador team put themselves over with some bananas work in and out of the ring. Never a slow moment, and while the ending was kind of expected, the work was never diminished. I’ll go 6 lucha masks for this match; Cagematch went with a 6.95.

We're gonna tell you about what we're gonna show you!

After a break, Vampiro and Matt Stryker talked about his interview with Cage, and then about his upcoming interview with Prince Puma…which is gonna be played now. Konnan spoke for Puma, saying Puma was pissed off after surviving 19 other luchadores and Fenix in his last two matches only to be attacked by a punk like Cage. Konnan says Cage would have been sent to the hospital if Prince Puma had expected his attack. Konnan kept speaking for Prince Puma, and Vampiro decided to pick a fight with Konnan about that until the two had to be separated by Puma. I don’t think those two like each other too much. Before the segment ended, Vampiro warned Puma to be careful, and I don’t think he meant that in a “because I’m coming for you” kind of way. More of a “don’t trust Konnan” kind of way. Which, I mean, I’ve watched wrestling for years, and that’s just evergreen advice, kayfabe or IRL.

Puma doesn't talk much but he doesn't like kerfuffles.

This show has flown by! It’s main event time already!

Main Event

This is gonna go great, I'm sure!

Prince Puma © (with Konnan) versus Cage for the Lucha Underground Championship

Vampiro made a point of saying that Puma didn’t need Konnan while the two were headed down the Temple steps. “I guess the only thing that can contain a Puma…is a Cage” was a helluva good line from Stryker as Cage entered the arena from the smoky side door. Puma flew at Cage from the rope before the big guy got into the ring, but once they both got inside the ropes Cage started to kick the snot out of the champ, tossing him around like a rag doll. 

We quickly hit the first submission hold, but Cage didn’t stay on it too long before resuming his beatdown of the masked Prince. Every bit of offense seemed to be reversed or countered by Cage, with the Machine either evading or catching Puma and slamming him to the mat.

Just a little twist and his head will pop right off!

A spinning DDT got Puma to Hulk Up in the middle of the ring, and the little guy started to get some high-flying offense to connect. Puma’s attacks continued to be few and far between, but he got a near-fall from a meteora before another Cage onslaught. A top rope maneuver that got caught and turned into a Jackhammer was pretty damn cool! A rolling pin break that turned into a two-footed stomp was ALSO cool, especially as it came after Cage just muscle-ing Puma up for a pair of power bombs!

Two to the face...for two!

Cage hit an F5 that solidified who he was kinda emulating throughout this match, but Puma managed to kick out and hit a series of strikes to slow the larger grappler down, laying him out with a suplex that only got two. The fans were fully into it by this point, although I don’t think they were quiet at any point in the fight, really. A ref shove by Cage dropped Puma from the top turnbuckle, and then a quick kick to the champ’s little champ led to a disqualification. LAME!

Kick 'em in the wiener and give 'em a piledriver, I always say.

I say LAME but after the match, the ref was attacked and Cage went after Prince Puma, setting him up for a powerbomb. Konnan made the save, breaking his cane on Cage’s back, and Konnan got absolutely destroyed for his trouble. Cage laid out Konnan with the title, and then tore the title in half as Konnan was laid out with a crimson mask to end the show.

I think this was a felt backup, but who's to say?

I hate a DQ finish to end a good match, and this was definitely a good match. Cagematch went 6.6, but I thought it was 8 lucha masks good, if you don’t count the fact that we didn’t get a clean finish. But then again, sometimes the bad guys are just out for blood, and maybe Cage never wanted a title. The rivalry needs to build, and a non-finish followed by a title destruction AND bloodying Puma’s manager feels like Cage doubled down -- a hat on a hat, if you will. I’m looking forward to seeing where this rivalry goes next!

Creeper.

A final shot of Dario Cueto watching that attack through the blinds of his office was abruptly broken when Cueto was shoved from behind by that mysterious lady in the vinyl catsuit we kept seeing in past episodes. She told Cueto she’s looking for a man who owes her, and Cueto stumbled over his words to say it wasn’t him -- he pays his debts. Cueto said he’d allow her to question anyone in his temple, and he would help her himself, if he could get a name. She said she only had one word: Matanza. Cueto said the word means nothing to him, in the least convincing way possible. With that, the lady disappeared, and the show came to a close.

I don't know no Matanza, and neither does anyone else!

Closing Thoughts

This was a really good episode of Lucha Underground, tip to tail! The opening match was a quick one, but it was a good first fight between the heroic Fenix and the big bad Mil Muertes, and things just picked up from there. From the trios match that established The Crew while also letting some of the underutilized luchadores shine, to the main event that pitted flippy hero Prince Puma against a guy spamming the Reversal button in Cage, to the world-building throughout, I thought this whole episode was a blast. I’m really looking forward to more Mil/Fenix, the return of a one-eyed Big Ryck, and a pissed off Prince Puma looking for revenge. Also, what’s a Matanza? We’ll find out soon, I hope!

OUCH!

So Long For Now

Hey, thanks for reading! Follow me on BlueSky for updates on Let’s Watch Some Wrestling, as well as live watch-along commentary for most episodes of AEW Dynamite (and occasionally Collision). And, if you’re looking into purchasing anything from a smart fridge to a new drill, check out the writing I do over at SlashGear -- my automotive, tech, and tool-related lists are heavily researched, and ranked after thorough aggregation of expert opinions, reviews, and my own experience as a professional auto mechanic, an unprofessional handyman and a somehow even less professional homeowner. 

Until next time…Let’s Watch Some Wrestling!