Casual Friday, but the one where we discuss burnout

 

Good Morning!

Man, what a week. WrestleMania had two nights of incredible spectacle, and some really good wrestling mixed in there too. AEW Dynamite gave us the big reveal of the kerfuffle between CM Punk and Jack Perry from last year’s “All In” show. And social media’s discussion of that, paired with some lackluster numbers on my previews, were just disheartening enough to get me to think about quitting. 

It’s a strange place to be in as far as these things go. Obviously I love the wrestling aspect of things – I’ve been watching for so long, I can’t imagine just stopping. But at the same time, there’s still overload, and when the conversations around your favorite thing become toxic it really sucks the joy out of things like writing about it. And, if we’re being completely honest, there’s so little feedback from doing this that I just kinda felt like nobody would notice if I stopped.

But! I think there’s a plan B, and it’s not giving up. We can’t just give up after being consistent for so long. And I have heard from a couple people who noticed I skipped last week, which was nice. So, rather than tapping out, we’re going to take a little breather from the structured format, and just kinda pop in whenever something comes up that I feel like sharing my thoughts about. Whether that’s wrestling, or something else, at least it’ll be here for those of you interested. 

We’ve got a PPV coming up this weekend, with AEW’s Dynasty hopefully representing a turning point for the company after several lackluster weeks of TV. I think the in-ring product is unquestionably excellent; it’s why a lot of us watch week after week. But the focus on non-AEW things has really hurt the show recently. 

I believe that this weekend is really important for All Elite Wrestling as a company. We’re likely to see a couple new champs crowned in Willow Nightingale and Swerve Strickland. The trios championships for AEW and Ring of Honor will be unified. And we’re getting a dream match in Will Ospreay versus Brian Danielson. This is the time for AEW to show what it does best, build up what it doesn’t, and really recalibrate into the product so many fans fell in love with. 

I’m not going to be giving up on them anytime soon. As I said, the matches are so good they overshadow everything else the company doesn’t do well. But ratings and buyrates are a real thing that might affect the company in the long run, and while I don’t really follow those numbers, one can see the crowds shrinking on TV. And I hate that folks online use those numbers and photos of arenas as a reason to argue that AEW shouldn't exist. Competition is good! Having a second national promotion where the best wrestlers in the world get to ply their trade on TV is good! 

One last thing. I really hope this feeling I have in my gut about Willow and Swerve is wrong. But when AEW signed Mercedes Mone and Will Ospreay, and Mercedes made her intention to go after the TBS championship at Double or Nothing known, I immediately worried that we’re crowning two transitional champions this weekend, people who will hold the titles until Mercedes is cleared to wrestle and Ospreay goes to Wembley to claim his title. We saw the latter play out with Saraya, a person who really didn’t earn a title but got one because she’s from the UK. Now, Ospreay is far more deserving of a world championship, and has earned it in matches week after week, but it does kinda feel like a foregone conclusion that he’s getting crowned in front of his home crowd. Does that make Swerve, a man who has clawed his way to the top with great promos, matches, and entrances, a temporary fix? I think it feels that way, but he’s also talented enough to make the most of the time he’ll be champion, and hopefully it leads to a number of reigns to come.

Oh! Since we’re talking AEW, I’d like to do at least a short Dynasty picks preview. Not a big whole post like usual, but at least I’ll list names. If I’m feeling saucy after Saturday’s Collision/Rampage twofer, I’ll write up a full on preview. *Glances at Wikipedia* Jesus Christ, there’s already 12 matches listed?!?

[if that image is illegible, it's part of this Wikipedia article]

In order from top to bottom, we’re going with: Bullet Club Gold, Trent Beretta, OC and Shibata all win on the pre-show. Copeland/Kingston/Briscoe, Jericho (ugh) takes the FTW Championship, Roddy Strong retains the International Championship, Willow Nightingale wins the TBS belt. Okada and the Young Bucks win their matches, keeping the bad guy Elite on top for now. Toni Storm retains, but maybe interference from Deonna Purazzo costs Rosa her title shot. Ospreay wins, respectful handshake, attempted Don Callis Family interference leads to BCC/Callis feud continuing but Ospreay walking away from the Family. And, Strickland wins the big one!

Closing Up Shop

…in which I say goodbye for now

And that’s it! SmackDown is tonight, and Collision and Rampage will air back-to-back on 4/20, a national holiday around these parts. Sunday night brings AEW Dynasty, and I’ll try to compile some thoughts on that for an Untitled Monday Blog on, well, Monday.

 If you have questions, concerns, or comments, drop 'em in the comments section below! And follow me on Twitter (X), Facebook, BlueSky and/or Instagram using the links on the right.

Thank you so much for reading. If you liked what you saw, consider telling your friends, mentioning Let’s Watch Some Wrestling on social media, or even buying me a hot cup of coffee using the Ko-Fi button. Have a great week, and I’ll see you back here next time, dear reader. Until then, Let’s Watch Some Wrestling!

The Let's Watch Some Wrestling NXT Stand and Deliver Preview!

 

Good Morning!

It’s time for our third preview of the weekend, although if I had any sense, dear reader, I’d have done them in chronological order and knocked this one out first. However, what’s done is done, and the posts for nights one and two of WrestleMania are already up.

We’re getting into the silliest of the WWE shows this weekend, although that doesn’t mean it is lacking in promising matches. It’s just that NXT is its own thing, a semi-developmental brand that hovers somewhere between trying out new stuff, keeping some tired old tropes alive, and letting new talent work out the kinks in their performances – albeit on a national stage with a weekly TV show. 

For a while there, NXT was the gold standard while WWE was faltering. Matches between guys like Johnny Gargano and Tomasso Ciampa or Sasha Banks and Bayley were getting five stars from reviewers, and NXT’s Takeover shows were some of the hottest tickets of the weekend. Those were the days when Triple H was booking, there was no AEW to speak of, and the independent scene was full of talent that was ready to get paid by WWE and put on some great shows while learning the Fed’s style. Nowadays, Triple H is working with the main roster, and Shawn Michaels is working with a lot of young kids who WWE is recruiting from college – athletes with a lot of personality and potential, but very little experience in a wrestling ring.

As I said in other posts, I want this blog to work for both newcomers and die-hard fans. So, we’re sticking with the format we used for the WrestleMania previews, and using my wife’s steadfast rules for why wrestling matches happen alongside some brief summaries of the rivalries and personalities involved in the fights this weekend. The rules, of course, are as follows:

1. I don’t like you and want to fight you

2. Something was misunderstood between us and we must fight, only to figure out later that we are friends

3. “Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!”

4. I WANT THAT CUMMERBUND (title)

Shawn Spears versus Joe Gacy

Who’s fighting?

Recently returned to NXT, after helping set things up over at AEW, Shawn Spears is an agent of chaos. He’s also really into chairs, specifically the steel folding variety. He talked Ridge Holland, a large man with a really unfortunate history of injuries, into calling it quits – in storyline terms, anyway. However, he’s met his match in chaos with Joe Gacy, a guy who until recently led a full-on cult. They disbanded, and now Gacy’s just kind of a madman, but one who’s enjoying unleashing his violent nature. 

Why are they fighting?

Rule 1 stuff here. Both Spears and Gacy were in line to challenge Oba Femi for his North American Championship  – more on him later. They lost their respective matches, though, and it was Gacy’s kinda-interference, by removing a chair prepared for Dijak, that cost Spears his win. Spears would pay Gacy back by using that chair on Gacy’s noggin.

Who’s gonna win?

Gacy’s in a weird place right now. He’d been feuding with Dijak for a while, but Dijak moved on to Spears, and now is in the North American title picture. I don’t think Gacy has completely moved on from that relationship, however. This should be a good, short match that’ll see Shawn Spears pick up another victory. Gacy will be just fine without the win.

Thea Hail, Fallon Henley, and Kelani Jordan versus Jacy Jayne, Kiana James, and Izzy Dame in a Six-Woman Tag Team Match

Who’s fighting?

Thea Hail is a goddamn delight! She’s a super-amped college kid enrolled in NXT’s only university, Chase U. Fallon Henley is a cowgirl with some catchy theme music and a desire to do the right thing, and Kelani Jordan is a former gymnast (in real life) and friend to both of them – she’s a little too new in NXT to have earned a two-word character trait just yet.

Jacy Jayne is a classic mean girl, wears all black, and uses people before beating them up and abandoning them. Kiana James is NXT’s resident business lady, and often hides a brick in her fancy purse for … wrestling reasons. And Izzy Dame is James’ business associate and partner in crime.

Why are they fighting?

Chase University was enduring some financial trouble, as its leader Andre Chase had incurred some gambling debts with Tony D’Angelo’s organization. While that was going on, Jacy Jayne befriended Thea Hail and started making Hail over in her image – black lipstick, less focus on school, not being insane when a boy says hi, that sort of thing. When the U was looking done for, Jayne put together a swimsuit calendar (in print, in the year of our Lord 2024) and it managed to sell so well that the University was saved and Chase’s gambling debts were paid. Unfortunately, during that time Jacy met some other, meaner girls and turned her back on Thea. Classic reason 3.

This is on a wrestling show. I love this stuff so much.

Who’s gonna win?

I mean, the good guys gotta win here, right? Nobody likes mean girls. 

Carmelo Hayes versus Trick Williams

Who’s fighting?

Carmelo Hayes is HIM. Athletic, fast, strong, good on the microphone. He also knows he’s all those things, which is why he’s a great bad guy. Trick Williams has all the tools to be a WWE superstar – he’s tall, jacked, charismatic, likable, and has a really catchy theme song that fans chant “Whoop that Trick” along with. 

Why are they fighting?

Rule 3, hopefully followed by 2. Hayes was the North American Champ for a long time, but after he lost it, he was more than willing to let his sidekick at the time, Trick, go after it. Unfortunately, while Trick was doing the work to get that title, he kinda accidentally worked his way into a World Championship match with Ilja Dragunov by way of the Iron Survivor match last year. Trick was attacked after he won that match, although who the attacker remained a mystery.

This wasn’t some kind of subtle bread crumb-type turn – literally everybody on the roster knew ‘Melo wasn’t happy with Trick’s newfound success, including the current champ. And they all straight-up told Trick this! He was just too good a friend to listen to them. While Trick/Melo Gang was involved in a tournament for the Tag Team Championship, Trick was also preparing for his own title shot. After they lost in the finals to the WolfDogs, Trick also fell to Ilja in a good, straight-up loss. It was after the loss that Carmelo turned on his former brother, and the long friendship between the two was over.

Who’s gonna win?

I usually list the non-title matches before I get into the title matches out of respect for the big belts. However, this is likely gonna be the main event, as it’s the biggest story NXT has going for it. Both guys are playing their parts brilliantly, with Trick getting incredibly over with the crowds and Hayes leaning into his performance as a smug, unlikable, jealous prick. Hayes is incredibly talented, and I think he’s due for a callup to the main roster any day now – in fact, he’s made some appearances on SmackDown already. And Trick has the look to be a full-on world champ, I just think he could use a little more development. So I’ll say Trick Williams defeats his mentor and brother, maybe they reconcile, and maybe that’s ‘Melo’s time to say goodbye to the NXT faithful.

Baron Corbin and Bron Breakker © versus Axiom and Nathan Frazier for the NXT Tag Team Championship

Who’s fighting?

Baron Corbin is a WWE veteran, a former football player who’s been through a bunch of gimmicks in both NXT and on the main roster. Unfortunately, his best work was probably the time he won a bunch of money gambling, and then lost it and was sad. He was sent down to NXT for a character refresh, and he’s really found his personality alongside his new tag team partner. Bron Breakker is that partner – a genetic freak and the son of Hall of Famer Rick Steiner, and nephew of Big Poppa Pump, Scott Steiner. He’s jarringly strong, and his initial babyface run was based on his second-generation bona fides and that aforementioned power. When he turned heel, that power was used as a weapon, but there wasn’t a lot of personality behind it. He was just a bully, a tough jerk. When he was paired with Corbin in a “can they coexist?” tag team, it took a couple weeks to find their footing, but they were really successful once they did. The pair is now a cohesive, fun pair of maybe-not-bad-guys anymore, and their backstage skits are some of the best on NXT.

Axiom and Nathan Frazier are another slapped-together team, but where Bron and Corbs are powerhouses, Axiom and Frazier are quick, flippy, and entertaining. They’re another recently-paired team, and as such they haven’t quite engineered the chemistry of the WolfDogs (a joke name that Bron proposed to Corbin that’s stuck), although there’s still plenty of time for that.

Why are they fighting?

Oh, it’s rule 4, featuring  a tag team tournament that just ended this past week in a triple-threat match. Axiom and Frazier came out the winners, and they’ll get a title shot.

Who’s gonna win?

Bronn is another guy who’s had some exposure on SmackDown, tossing guys around and looking great doing it. It seemed like he would be sticking around the main roster sooner than later. And while Axiom and Nathan Frazer would be fun champions, flipping around the ring like madmen against bigger, stronger opponents who yeet them to and fro, I feel like the well-received champs have almost done too well and Bron will be sticking around NXT until this current run peters out a little more. WolfDogs retain and, eventually, will curse each other for their sudden but inevitable betrayal.

Oba Femi © versus Dijak versus Josh Briggs for the North American Championship

Who’s fighting?

Dijak is up first. He’s a big dude who believes in justice and violence – kind of a Sin City character, complete with a monochrome entrance and cool shades. Josh Briggs was part-owner of a cowboy bar, involved in a love triangle, and half of a beloved tag team just a few months ago. Since then, he and his partner broke up, the third part of that triangle has mostly moved on to do her own thing, and they all lost the bar. He’s still ostensibly a good guy, but he’s real grumpy. Oba Femi is kind of a prodigy. Born in Nigeria, this former shot-putter is jacked, and has a blast just heaving other men around the ring. He ended lucha superstar Dragon Lee’s short North American title reign in dramatic fashion with a clean victory, and has been destroying dudes ever since. At only 26, he still has a lot to learn but he’s really developing quickly.

Why are they fighting?

Dijak has been calling out Femi for a while now, because Rule 4 applies to almost all championship matches – it’s rarely “I hate your guts but also that cummerbund looks real nice,” you know? Josh Briggs got involved when his former tag team partner, Brooks Jensen, got thoroughly destroyed by Oba Femi, and Briggs wanted revenge. 

Who’s gonna win?

Oba Femi had the title put on him way too soon, in my humble opinion, but we’re here now and we should make the most of it. Femi should retain here in a “big meaty men slappin’ meat” kind of match, which just so happens to be my favorite kind. Short, hard-hitting, and with big slaps and big moves between some big dudes.

Lyra Valkyria © versus Roxanne Perez for the Women’s World Championship

Who’s fighting?

Our challenger here is Roxanne Perez. The longtime top babyface of NXT had to give up her title after a concussion scare last year, and when she returned she participated in a ladder match that she didn’t win. Then she got a title shot, but the match got complicated when Lola Vice cashed in a title opportunity, making the match a triple threat and costing Perez a win. Perez turned against the fans and her coworkers after that, attacking a bunch of NXT stars and breaking Lyra’s arm!

Lyra Valkyria is a bird person, a gal whose gear and character gives pagan/witchy vibes. She’s a good guy champ, but the continuing assaults from Perez have taken her down a darker path, and she’s told stalker/pal Tatum Paxley that she’s willing to become that person to retain her title. Oh, right – Valkyria has an obsessed fan in Tatum Paxley, who dresses like her, idolizes her, and defends her whenever she can.

Why are they fighting?

I kinda stepped on my own tail in the character descriptions here. Perez claims she never really lost the NXT Women’s Championship, which is technically true. But she’s had opportunities since then, and it just hasn’t worked out for her. Now she’s a bad guy and has a title shot – sounds like rule 4 with some 3 mixed in for that heel turn.

Who’s gonna win?

Roxanne is another NXT performer who fans have felt is ready for the main roster for some time now. Unfortunately, this current bad guy run just isn’t working for me – she’s the most generic kind of heel, and she’s not very good on the microphone in these “I hate you, the fans” promos. However, last week’s NXT showed us that Paxley isn’t comfortable with her hero going rogue to retain her championship. I could see Valkyria retaining, giving Perez a chance to move on and Paxley a window to become a babyface in a rivalry against the now-dark champion.

Ilja Dragunov © versus Tony D’Angelo for the World Championship

Who’s fighting?

The challenger, Tony D’Angelo, is the “Don of NXT.” That’s right – it’s 2024 and we still have mafia stereotypes in this promotion. And for the last few months the mob boss was a good guy! He’s fine as far as in-ring stuff goes, but it’s all about the b-level acting for this guy. And he pulls it off, I think!

Ilja Dragunov is the champion, and he’s a lanky, lean guy that wrestling fans might describe as “tougher than a two-dollar steak.” He’s always impeccably dressed, super intense, and is a monster in the ring. 

Why are they fighting?

Rule Four again! Tony D. won a play-in match against Carmelo Hayes by using Trick Williams’ theme music as a distraction against ‘Melo. That got things started, and since then D’Angelo has used some classic mob intimidation tactics against Dragunov. You know, kidnapping, booting his car, bringing him to a scary place where guys in suits are using table saws on pieces of wood…normal wrestling stuff. Dragunov doesn’t have a whole lot of character besides “likes pain” so it’s nice to see him working with an over-the-top character like Tony.

Who’s gonna win?

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say Tony D’Angelo is going to pick up the victory and the title. Ilja’s title run has been good, and he’s good as a champ, but I feel like the Don of NXT needs the title to keep his gimmick solid. Also, Ilja is just about out of challengers at this point, so a title change might be the thing that sends him up to the main roster, where a certain longtime rival of his – Gunther – might need a new challenger.

…and that’s it!

What a packed weekend we’ve got! I think we’re gonna forego Casual Friday this week, as I’ve already pumped out over 10,000 words on previews alone. (!) I’ll see you next week for the usual Casual Friday and Untitled Monday blog posts, with the Monday blog featuring a recap of WrestleMania, Stand and Deliver, and also Collision if I find the time to check that out too! Hell, if I’m feeling particularly saucy I’ll try to post some thoughts on Sunday morning…but I can’t make any guarantees. 

If you have questions, concerns, or comments, drop 'em in the comments section below! And follow me on Twitter (X), Facebook, BlueSky and/or Instagram using the links on the right.

Thank you so much for reading. If you liked what you saw, consider telling your friends, mentioning Let’s Watch Some Wrestling on social media, or even buying me a hot cup of coffee using the Ko-Fi button. Have a great week, and I’ll see you back here next time, dear reader. Until then, Let’s Watch Some Wrestling!

It's the Let's Watch Some Wrestling Preview for Night Two of WrestleMania!

 

Good Morning!

A little less wordy for the intro this time around, as I’m trying to knock out some other posts as well. But when I noticed the first half of this preview was already nearing 4500 words, I figured it best to split the posts, both for your sake as a reader, and so the blog has a nice little reference point for each night, in case you need a quick refresh between shows. I’ll get the Stand and Deliver preview finished by tomorrow, as well as a short Casual Friday post to talk about Dynamite and the week in general. 

As I said in other posts, I want this blog to work for both newcomers and die-hard fans. So, we’re gonna try something a little different today, using my wife’s steadfast rules for why wrestling matches happen alongside some brief summaries of the rivalries and personalities involved in the fights this weekend. The rules, of course, are as follows:

1. I don’t like you and want to fight you

2. Something was misunderstood between us and we must fight, only to figure out later that we are friends

3. “Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!”

4. I WANT THAT CUMMERBUND (title)

WrestleMania Night Two: Sunday

Seth “Freakin’” Rollins © versus Drew McIntyre for the World Heavyweight Championship

Who’s fighting?

We spoke a bit about Seth Rollins previously, but since this is his championship match I feel like we should dig a little deeper today. Seth has become kind of a third wheel on this WrestleMania card, which seems unfair considering he’s held the World Heavyweight Championship since its debut last year. However, it’s also kind of par for the course – after all, that championship was basically introduced because WWE didn’t want to take the title off of Roman Reigns, and they clearly didn’t want to separate the now-undisputed title either. So, we got a brand-new title and Seth has done his best to make it reputable, which he’s been largely successful at. An injury threatened to keep him out of WrestleMania, but his rehab went better than we could have hoped and he’ll be taking on Drew. 

Drew McIntyre has been a revelation of late. He’s leaned more and more into the heelish aspects of his character, but his initial turn was justifiable! He didn’t like that Jey Uso, a guy who participated in the screwing over of Drew in multiple championship matches, was being given a pass on Raw because Cody Rhodes was acting as kind of a sponsor for him. But he never apologized to Drew, and just kind of went about being a good guy – and the fans bought in! I’d be mad too, honestly.

Why are they fighting?

A few reasons. Drew won his championship during the pandemic, and has expressed a desire to win another in front of fans, a reasonable request. Drew also won the Elimination Chamber match to become the number one contender to Rollins’ championship, so it’s mostly Rule 4 we’re talking about here. But Drew and Seth have also become tangled in the Bloodline storyline, with Seth promising to help Cody, and Drew frequently accepts, or at least benefits from, Bloodline interference in his matches. We’ve also seen Drew and Paul Heyman, the Bloodline’s advocate/wise man/special counsel, chatting in weeks past.

*EDIT* I somehow, shockingly, forgot to mention that Drew's other nemesis, CM Punk, will be on commentary for this match. He's almost certainly gonna get involved, although I'm not sure how physical he can be. Maybe he's completely healed and this has all been a cunning ruse? Or maybe Punk will just talk smack about McIntyre for the whole match? Or, maybe Punk goes full Punk and spends twenty minutes just airing his grievances with current and former co-workers and workplaces -- WHO'S TO SAY?

Who’s gonna win?

I would love a Drew win, and I also can see him getting involved in the tag team main event on Night One, softening up Rollins while also doing some dirty work for Roman Reigns and The Rock. However, while I was researching this bit, I found that Drew’s last eight matches have been dark match losses against Cody Rhodes, with one Jey Uso match in early March breaking the trend. That could just mean the two aren’t involved in big rivalries that can be built at non-televised shows…or it could mean one of them won’t have a title after Sunday night, and a rivalry is warming up between the pair. Since I’m feeling the good vibes of the weekend, we’ll say Seth Rollins overcomes the odds here and defeats Drew. 

Of note here – Damian Priest still holds the Money in the Bank contract, and he might be feeling ready to strike out on his own if he and Finn Balor lose their Undisputed Tag Team Championship on Saturday. I wouldn’t rule out a cash-in on Drew OR Seth, just to add a little more excitement into the proceedings.

IYO SKY © versus Bayley for the Women’s Championship

Who’s fighting?

Bayley has recently become a de facto good guy in the grand scheme of things. She started her career as the good-est of good guys, coming out to bouncy theme music and being flanked by wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men as she headed to the ring. She turned against the fans a few years ago, and returned from injury at 2022’s SummerSlam to resume a rivalry with Bianca Belar alongside her new pals, IYO SKY and Dakota Kai, forming the stable Damage CTRL in the process. Bayley’s a solid technical wrestler, and has been involved in some of the greatest NXT matches of all time. She’s also the longest-reigning Smackdown Women’s champion, and this year became the Royal Rumble’s Iron Woman, lasting longer in that match than any other woman, ever.

IYO SKY is a high-flying performer, earning her the nickname “Genius of the Sky.” To be honest, it worked a little better when she went as Io Shirai back in NXT. Regardless, she’s an amazing in-ring talent, and WWE has been letting her show a little more personality by cutting promos in her native Japanese, and putting subtitles over them. I may not know what she’s saying, but you can feel the emotion when she says it, you know? 

Why are they fighting?

The rare 1-3-4 combo for this one! We spoke about Damage CTRL before, and it plays heavily in this match. Bayley and IYO have been frenemies since IYO won Money in the Bank last year by handcuffing Bayley to Becky Lynch. IYO used that case to win her Women’s Championship at SummerSlam, and Becky continued to support her stablemate despite the tension. Once Asuka and Kairi Sane joined Damage CTRL, Becky seemed to be the odd woman out, and when Becky revealed that she’d learned enough Japanese to know when her friends were talking smack about her, she decided to use her Royal Rumble victory to challenge IYO for her title.

Who’s gonna win?

Bayley deserves a big win on a big stage, and while IYO has been a good champ, it seems like a good time for a change. Am I predicting too many good guys to win? Probably. But I’m an optimist and a simple man, and I like when good overcomes bad at WrestleMania. And Bayley will have to overcome a lot to win this match – even though the other members of Damage CTRL have their own match on Saturday, they will likely show up in support of their champ for this fight.

The Pride (Bobby Lashley, Montez Ford, and Angelo Dawkins) versus The Final Testament (Carrion Cross, Akam, and Rezar) in a Six-Man Philadelphia Street Fight

Who’s fighting?

Bobby Lashley is a mountain of a man, the kind of guy one thinks of when they think of a pro wrestler from the 90s. Just a big ol’ slab of beef. Montez Ford and Angelo Dawkins, collectively known as the Street Profits, are the tried-and-true combination of a bigger guy (Dawkins) and a charismatic flippy guy (Ford). Ford’s no little guy, though – a former Marine standing 6’1”, the Chicago native is lean and jacked, and has one of the highest leaps in wrestling. They’ll be accompanied by B-Fab, a young lady formerly of the faction Hit Row before they disbanded.

Carrion Cross leads The Final Testament, and he’s an intense guy with a deep love for his equally intense wife, Scarlett. He’s not Lashley big, but he’s a big dude nonetheless, and he’s got kind of a hardcore/heavy metal vibe going on. His buddies, Akam and Rezar, are giants – no-nonsense beasts who let their actions speak for them as they toss their victims around the ring. They are not, as my wife often mentions, the turtle and wolf from Ninja Turtles 2; they’re a tag team called the Authors of Pain. They’re managed by legendary manager Paul Ellering, who also works as a mouthpiece for the guys when Cross isn’t around. 

Why are they fighting?

They just don’t like each other – rule 1 all the way. I honestly don’t have a lot to add to that – the groups have been involved with each other for a few months, and they’re going to continue that rivalry at the biggest show on the calendar.

Who’s gonna win?

I guess we’ll have the bad guys – The Final Testament – pick up the win here, since we’ve been so good-guy heavy in our picks. There’s no real rhyme or reason for a match like this to have a clear winner, as they’ll probably continue fighting beyond Sunday, so look for some shenanigans to cost the good guys the fight.

Logan Paul © versus Kevin Owens versus Randy Orton in a Triple Threat Match for the United States Championship

Who’s fighting?

If this were the kind of organization that employed a bunch of diverse talents, I’d have somebody younger try to explain to both you and me why Logan Paul is so popular. As it stands, it’s an unpaid one-man operation, so I’ll try my best. He’s a YouTube guy who has made some really questionable life choices, but he also seems to have kinda moved away from that as he’s gotten a little older. What matters to us, the wrestling fans, is that he’s a natural in the ring. He’s tall and lanky, but has a really good grasp on the in-ring stuff, flying around and playing the heel role perfectly. He’s also our United States champ, having won the belt by using some brass knuckles on Rey Mysterio. 

Kevin Owens is a blue-collar everyman, a Canadian veteran of the ring, and one of the most likable people in wrestling. He and longtime friend, partner, and rival Sami Zayn won the Undisputed Tag Team Championships at last year’s ‘Mania, and he’s been a singles champ multiple times over. Lately, he’s been kind of an audience surrogate, calling out the tropes of pro wrestling while getting very close to breaking the fourth wall.

Randy Orton is a wrestler’s wrestler, tall, tanned, and jacked. Orton is a third-generation superstar, and has been in WWE for over twenty years, and in that time he’s established his finisher, the RKO, as one of the best in all of wrestling. He’s always been kind of a “tweener,” ready to turn on his friends at the drop of a hat.

Why are they fighting?

Rule 4 is the obvious pick here – Logan has a belt, neither Randy nor Kevin like him, and they want to relieve him of that responsibility. Orton and Owens have also been pretty buddy-buddy of late. Logan has repeatedly screwed Owens over, using the brass knuckles he deployed to win his US Championship to retain it as well.

Who’s gonna win?

We’ll keep the bad guys on a streak here, and give Logan Paul the win. I hate to get backstage-y, as I don’t really keep up with the rumors and scuttlebutt, but I think WWE likes what they have in Paul – a really famous guy outside of wrestling who brings fresh eyes to the product. Paul almost always brings his friends to WrestleMania, so he’ll have an advantage against Owens and Orton in that regard, and I’d also bet on Orton growing tired of being beloved and turning on KO.

LA Knight versus AJ Styles

Who’s fighting?

We’ll start with LA Knight. He’s been described as a mixture between The Rock and “Stone Cold” Steve Austin on the microphone, which is high praise for a guy who hasn’t been in WWE that long. He’s good in the ring, but his mic work is what’s really gotten him over with the fans, who just really like yelling “YEAUH” along with him – present company included. 

AJ Styles is kind of a journeyman pro wrestler – before joining the WWE at the 2016 Royal Rumble, Styles wrestled on the independent circuit as well as for WCW, NWA, TNA-Impact, and in Japan as well. He was named wrestler of the year multiple times in the 2010s, and also has the honor of being the Undertaker’s last opponent, losing to the Dead Man in a cinematic “Boneyard Match” during the pandemic-era WrestleMania 36.

Why are they fighting?

Some solid Rule 3 stuff here. AJ was going to team up with John Cena against the Bloodline earlier this year, but a backstage attack saw AJ out of that match, and LA Knight as his replacement. AJ was out for a good while, but returned at Elimination Chamber to interfere, attacking LA Knight. Knight would seek revenge ever since, attacking AJ on multiple occasions, including at Styles’ home last month. This is a blood feud thru and thru, and I’m honestly surprised it’s a straight-up singles match and not something more violent.

Who’s gonna win?

Some say WWE missed the boat on LA Knight, because he was WILDLY popular last year, but I think he’s still pretty dang over – just listen to the crowd when he’s talking on the mic. AJ is the kind of professional who doesn’t mind putting someone over, either. I think this is a good time to give Knight a big WrestleMania win, and if they want to keep this rivalry going WWE could always bring AJ Styles back together with his stable, the OC, that he kinda drifted away from after his most recent return to action.

Roman Reigns © versus Cody Rhodes for the Undisputed WWE Universal Championship

Who’s fighting?

You know by now! It’s Cody Rhodes, beloved superstar, haver-of-a-story, and possibly the most popular wrestler in the WWE right now (non-part-time division) fighting Roman Reigns, the Undisputed Universal Champion in both name and in legacy right now, a guy who just feels inevitable and undefeatable.

Why are they fighting?

While we could pepper in some old-fashioned disdain, this is all Rule 4. The phrase “finish the story” has kind of evolved from Cody looking to win the title that his father was never given a chance to truly hold, to Cody needing to win that title and defeat longtime rival Roman Reigns to validate his own story and his return to WWE. Cody was attacked by Bloodline guy and Reigns’ cousin Solo Sikoa to end his championship dreams last year, and Roman has gloated about it ever since. Cody’s been forced to take some side quests since then, engaging in rivalries with Brock Lesnar, the Miz, Shinsuke Nakamura, and members of the Judgment Day while also briefly teaming with Jey Uso. But after winning the Royal Rumble this year, Cody wanted his rematch, and despite The Rock inserting himself into the WrestleMania main event(s), first as a Cody replacement and then as a rival, Cody has been the majority of fans’ choice to dethrone the Tribal Chief.

Who’s gonna win?

I’ve seen a lot of theories about how this match goes down. I think it’s definitely going to be contested under Bloodline Rules, with Rock and Roman defeating Cody and Seth on Saturday. But what shenanigans will take place during the match? I’ve fantasy-booked everything from a straight-up singles match to a full-on Bloodline versus Cody-vengers lineup, with Cody calling in favors from legends like “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and John Cena. 

The theory behind those two is this image from a couple of Raws past, when Rock beat the everloving hell out of Rhodes in the rain in Chicago as the images of those two loomed behind them. Cena actually makes some sense here, as he’s battled the Bloodline over the last few years. Even without bringing in Legends, the idea of all the current wrestlers who have been screwed over by Roman and his family joining together to keep the fight fair would be a really cool WrestleMania moment.

At the end of the day, I think it does all come down to Roman and Cody. There will be interference, but the last big chunk of the match will be these two, overcoming all the distractions and outside attacks and just going at each other in a match-within-a-match. And that’s when Cody will finally finish his story, hopefully putting an end to both Roman’s reign and that phrase. I swear, if I never hear about another story it’ll be too soon.

…and that’s it!

What a packed weekend we’ve got! I’ll see you next week for the usual Casual Friday and Untitled Monday blog posts, with the Monday blog featuring a recap of WrestleMania, Stand and Deliver, and also Collision if I find the time to check that out too! Hell, if I’m feeling particularly saucy I’ll try to post some thoughts on Sunday morning, even, but I can’t make any guarantees. 

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