AEW Dynamite 5/4/2022

 Hello, my friends! This blog marks a full week of wrestling recaps, since I decided it’s time to start taking notes and making something of my passion. And, yes, maybe nobody actually reads these yet, but I’m sure when I’m able to write off my trips to Wrestlemanias and All Ins we’ll all look back and laugh.

I’m laughing already.

It’s Thursday morning, and you know what that means. It means we watched Dynamite last night, so let’s get right into five good things about last night’s show.

- Wardlow vs Secret Opponent was a fun surprise that surprised practically no one. The match was a fine example of BIG MEATY MEN SLAPPIN’ MEAT, and the pre and post match shenanigans with MJF made the whole segment a good watch.

- Hangman Adam Page’s promo laying into CM Punk was a good build for their upcoming PPV bout. You could feel the passion in his voice, which I felt was important because you know Punk is going to match that passion leading up to the match.

- Gunn Club and The Acclaimed had a goofy promo building on their goofy promo from Rampage. I thought it was hilarious; your mileage may vary.

- Dante Martin vs Rey Fenix was match of the night. It’s an acrobatics heavy spotfest, which some folks don’t love, but I do and it’s my goddamn blog. 

- Mercedes Martinez vs Deonna Purrazzo for the Undisputed RoH Women’s Championship was a good match, despite my misgivings.

We’re diving right into the action, as Adam Cole’s music hits. He rudely ignores Tony Schiavone’s handshake and joins the announce table. Cole is here to provide guest commentary as Bobby Fish attempts to join Adam Cole and Kyle O’Reilly in the Owen Hart Foundation Tournament. 

Opening Contest: Bobby Fish vs Jeff Hardy to qualify for the Owen Hart Foundation Tournament

This was a good match! It went a little long, and honestly I was surprised at the outcome. The crowd sounded about 50/50 between Fish and Hardy during their chants throughout the match. We also saw Sting and Darby Allen watching from the rafters, as Darby will be facing the winner in the tournament. Also, I assume, there’s some kind of face paint brotherhood that Sting, Darby, and Jeff Hardy are all a part of. Hardy ended up winning with a Swanton bomb at around twelve minutes, giving us the anticipated matchup of Jeff and Darby Allen. The Young Bucks came out to check on Fish after the loss, and to tease a future match with the Hardys.

There’s something to be said for Adam Cole’s ability to be such a great heel when, by all accounts, he’s a wonderful person in real life. His personality on AEW’s Arcade broadcasts on Twitch and YouTube, and on his own Twitch channel as Chuggs, is just delightful. I used to follow him on Xavier Woods’s UpUpDownDown channel as well, where he was a frequent contributor along with Cesaro and Tyler Breeze. If you’re into video game content I cannot recommend all of those folks enough!

Sign seen: “NBA Street Vol.2 > NBA Jam” I loved both, but for home consoles Street was far superior!

We have a quick video of Wheeler Yuta being trained / slapped around by Lord William Regal, as Regal tells us that members of the Blackpool Combat Club would rather scar their enemies’ faces than stab them. The scar will last. There’s a non-zero chance Regal is a psychopath.

Match #2: Blackpool Combat Club (Danielson, Moxley, Yuta w/Regal) vs Angelico, The Butcher, The Blade in a trios match

This was another great, short, violent match for the BCC, as they continue to cement their violent reputation as one of the best trios in the company. All three members of the Club got some good offense in, and this week it was Danielson who got the win, transitioning from his signature head kicks to a submission hold while both Yuta and Mox were able to hold their opponents at bay. Angelico and his partners all got some offense too, so it wasn't a squash by any means, just a dominant performance.

Jurassic Express, Christian, Ricky Starks and Powerhouse Hobbs are in the interview station, as Jungle Boy has an idea. He is willing to put the tag team titles on the line against Team Taz, but he wants a shot at the FTW title that Starks never seems to defend. These terms are agreed to, so next week we have the FTW title match and, I assume, the Tag Team Championship will be contested at Double or Nothing.

We jump to Tony Schiavone with Swerve Strickland and Keith Lee. They’re sarcastically happy for Starks and Hobbs getting a shot at the tag titles, but remind them that there is unfinished business between their teams. Keith Lee dramatically announces that Starks and Hobbs “will SWERVE in our GLORY”. Fine combination of catchphrases.

Sign seen: “MJF has been like this since he lost his Teddy Ruxpin” 

I had one of those, I would have been crushed.

Match #3, Wardlow vs MJF’s Mystery Hire (W. Morrissey, the former Big Cass)

Wardlow is led in from the loading dock like a combination of Goldberg and a velociraptor, hands cuffed and no music. MJF and Shawn Spears walk into the arena as Wardlow gets to the ring, and they inform us that they will not be watching from the stands tonight. Turns out they think Maryland is a shithole and they would rather watch Wardlow get destroyed on a monitor. MJF brought a man who is seven feet of sheer, unadulterated power. That man is W. Morrissey of Impact Wrestling, formerly known as Big Cass in WWE. The smile on his face as he entered the arena was priceless; he quickly switched to a more stoic expression. MJF offered a high five to Morrissey, which Morrissey had to adjust a few times to make up for the height difference. A pretty great chant battle of “We want Enzo / NO WE DON’T” began once the bell rang. Another good BIG MEATY MEN SLAPPIN’ MEAT match for Wardlow, as the battle allowed Morrissey to look good in defeat while continuing Wardlow’s dominant runup to the inevitable battle with Friedman. Wardlow busted out his moonsault again, surprising Morrissey and opening him up for a single, brutal powerbomb and the pin. MJF and Spears are furious in the back, and Wardlow begins to allow security to handcuff him before he thinks better of it. He absolutely destroys the security guards on hand, and MJF comes out of the entrance tunnel with more guards / victims. After disposing of them all, Wardlow screams at MJF that he will never stop until he is released from his contract. MJF agrees to a match, but he won’t reveal the stipulations until next week, at a contract signing in beautiful Long Island, New York.

Quick interview between Toni Storm, Ruby Soho, Jamie Hayter, and Dr. Britt Baker in anticipation of their fight on Friday afternoon (Rampage has an early start because of the playoffs later that evening)

Tony Schiavone invites Hangman Page to the ring. Hangman tells us how easy it would be to be nice to CM Punk. He also thinks it would be easy to have a “masturbatory Bret Hart tribute match” with Punk - rude. But instead, Hangman tells us he will destroy CM Punk. After the match those of us with Punk shirts will ask for a refund, if we haven’t already burned those shirts. Page is gonna embarrass him at Double or Nothing. Just a great promo to help build what I think is gonna be a really good face vs face battle.

We then join Satnam Singh, Jay Lethal, and Sonjay Dutt, who want to know why they didn’t get red carpets for their debuts, when Konosuke Takeshita did. Lethal decides he will face Takeshita on Rampage and take that red carpet.

Match #4: Santana vs Chris Jericho

This built off their ongoing rivalry since Jericho dumped the Inner Circle and formed the Jericho Appreciation Society. Jericho is announced as “The Wizard”, and when Schiavone asked why Excalibur replied, “It’s a whole thing he did on Friday”. Just a great example of directing us to something we know if we watched, but that isn’t necessarily worth a video replay.

The match was solid, and sold like a grudge match with a lot of good violence. The numbers advantage worked in Jericho’s favor in the end, as a distraction by Matt Menard allows Jericho to hit Santana with a low blow. Jericho follows up with a Judas Effect and wins by pinfall. A lengthy beatdown of Santana and Ortiz follows, as the announcers inform us that Eddie Kingston is not in the building to help. Jericho uses Floyd the baseball bat to end the assault, and the heels stand strong.

Short video of Samoa Joe, who will be coming for Jay Lethal on Friday.

We continue our story from Rampage in the back of the arena, as the Gunn Club tells the Acclaimed that they spoke with their Papa and brought a gift. They present Max Caster and Anthony Bowens with gift-wrapped scissors! Asking if that means the Gunns accept the offer of a team up, Billy Gunn replies, “Stick it in there, boys!” This was silly, dumb, and I will admit I laughed. 

The Varsity Blondes are in the ring with Julia, their pirate themed sidekick. John Harbaugh, coach of the Baltimore Ravens is here in the crowd tonight. Excalibur mentioned earlier the Harbaugh and Brian Pillman, Sr., were college roommates. Who knew? Brian Pillman Jr. has a microphone and tells us about his dad’s relationship with the coach, and how he has let down his team. This goes on a while, and then he calls out the House of Black. The lights then go out and we get the best entrance in professional wrestling. After a couple blackouts, the Blondes get into a fighting stance, defending young Julia. Malakai Black attacks first, and the House of Black quickly knocks both Garrison and Pillman down. Black then goes to Julia and she is led, by Buddy Murphy, over to the prone body of Griff Garrison. He offers her a chair to smash him, but she hesitates. Black gets impatient, throws the chair away, and forcibly removes Julia’s eyepatch. The members of Death Triangle then arrive, and the House of Black is run off.

Jade, Smart Mark, and the Baddies do a little video celebrating their recent wins. Velvet vows victory in the Owen Tournament.

Match #5: Dante Martin vs Rey Fenix, Owen Hart Foundation Tournament qualifier

We’re informed that this is the last match of the qualifying round, as Samoa Joe will face a “Joker” mystery opponent. I have no way to describe the fun this match was. I know spot wrestling isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but I personally require a Big Gulp of this brand of tea whenever it’s available. A fun, flippy match that highlighted the incredible athleticism of both wrestlers. Highlights included a backflipping second rope Russian leg sweep, a great looking pop up cutter by Fenix, and a brutal poison rana. Fenix laying a knee into the skull of Martin before finishing with a sitout brainbuster was a terrific nail in the coffin. Fenix got the win, and this was definitely my match of the night.

We get our first look at the official men’s bracket for the Owen Tournament. First round features Rey Fenix vs Kyle O’Reilly, Jeff Hardy vs Darby Allen, Adam Cole (BAYBAY) vs Dax Harwood, and Samoa Joe vs the Joker.

Thunder Rosa is on the entrance ramp, and talks about how she’s built this AEW Women’s division. She is the bloodline and the backbone of the division, even though some people (me) continue to criticize it. She calls out Serena Deeb as her next challenger, and she accepts. I know this is gonna be a well wrestled match, maybe even a feud. But neither of these women are great promos and it continues to be a weak spot, even as the division grows stronger.

Excalibur performs his usual summary of upcoming matches for Rampage and next week’s Dynamite, followed by a video of John Silver promoting his upcoming match with CM Punk.

Main Event: Mercedes Martinez (interim champ) vs Deonna Purrazzo © for the Undisputed Ring of Honor Women’s Championship.

Deonna did NOT observe the code of honor, refusing the handshake to start. This match was fine, showing off the power style both women specialize in. The finish was also good, as Martinez fought to lock in a Dragon Sleeper, but Purrazzo bit Mercedes’s elbow to fight her off! It was only temporary, though; a second attempt locked it in and Deonna was forced to submit, crowning Mercedes Martinez our new RoH women’s champ.

The Lucasfilm logo tells me my work here is done.

To sum up:

I understand why the RoH match went on last, I just feel like it did a disservice for the women involved. We’ve seen Mercedes on AEW before, as a hired gun for Britt Baker and as a partner to Thunder Rosa. I don’t know that we’ve seen Purrazzo, although she’s got a great reputation as a performer. But the crowd wasn’t terribly invested, and can you blame them? Respect for the RoH brand and it’s titles is great, but it does no good when neither of the wrestlers or the feud has received any real buildup. You can’t assume people will go out of their way to do their own research on these Ring of Honor matchups. Excalibur does a great job of telling us why we should care about these performers, but without them on AEW TV it simply isn’t enough. I really want to love the women’s division here in AEW, and I’m a big proponent of women’s wrestling in general. They just keep stepping backwards. It’s disappointing.