AEW Dynamite from 5/11/2022

 It’s Thursday morning, and you know what that means. Oh, you don’t? It means we’re gonna talk about last night’s AEW Dynamite. I thought it was good, but I guess I rarely don’t. How good? Well, there were at least five good things…BUT I think we’re going to move that bit to the summary TL;DR at the end of the column from here on out. 

Think of it like how you find a recipe online, and there’s 900 words on how much the ingredients individually mean to the author before you get to the card you want to print out so you can make that chicharrones recipe consistently. Look, if I’m gonna make this a job I’m gonna need you to read the whole thing. You with me on that? Dope. Let’s go!

Good ole JR welcomes us to Wednesday night and we’re getting right into the action with the first match in the Owen Hart Foundation Tournament. 

Opening Contest: Adam Cole vs Dax Harwood, First Round in the Owen

This one was very good, and told a fun story about both guys’ influences. Some great spots, including Dax missing a top rope ax handle only to land on his feet and catch Cole with a rope assisted piledriver. The rope bounce was necessary because of Dax’s possibly broken ribs, we were told.

Those ribs also factored into a Sharpshooter by Harwood a little later on. Dax waved at a prone Cole before locking it in, but couldn’t hold the pressure because of his injury.

Adam Cole ended up winning the match with a Sharpshooter of his own after teasing Sweet Chin Music - a nod to the man he’s constantly compared to, and was mentored by, Shawn Michaels. Cole slapped the Sharpshooter on Dax in the center of the ring and, after trying to get to the ropes, Harwood was forced to tap. Adam Cole is our first competitor heading to the second round of the Owen.

A video package of Jeff Hardy and Darby Allin is intercut with both guys talking to the camera about their mutual respect. Darby is willing to go to the hospital for this, the first ever match between Allin and Jeff. Darby says, “Waive the rules, let us be psychotic!”

Hangman Page gets entrance music, and is headed to the commentary table for the next match, featuring his opponent at Double or Nothing.

Match #2: CM Punk vs John “The Meat Man” Silver

I love these weird Long Island shows, it’s like a different strand of the AEW Multiverse where Punk has wronged these fans and is a heel, while MJF is the people’s champion. Tonight Punk walks to the ring in a New York Islanders Tavares sweater, and Islanders themed ring gear. You can really tell he enjoys getting to play the villain here. 

This was, and I hate to say it because I love the guy, your typical CM Punk match these days. Silver got plenty of offense in, Punk helped him look good, but the ending was never really in doubt. Especially since it’s only a couple more weeks until the pay per premium live event! There was a spot where Silver went to run up the turnbuckle, and I’m pretty sure Punk saved the meaty one from falling on his butt.

Punk stunned Silver long enough to stare Hangman down and hit Silver with Page’s finisher, the Buckshot Lariat, getting the pinfall win. 

Hangman immediately walked to the ring and got nose to nose with Punk, who had gotten a microphone at this point. Punk asks if Hangman is mad, and why Page is taking this all so personally. Punk quotes Page’s promo from last week, where Page said he’d destroy Punk, and he would never shake Punk’s hand. Punk tells us that whether he likes it or not, conscious or unconscious, Hangman is going to shake Punk’s hand after Punk wins the championship at Double or Nothing. Punk offers his hand after the speech, and Hangman replies with a middle finger to the face. Good build for what I hope is a great match, regardless of the outcome.

Tony Schiavone is interviewing Jamie Hayter and Dr. Britt Baker before their upcoming Owen matches. Rebel (not Reba) is also there, but doesn’t say much per usual. Britt wants us to know that the whole tournament continues the AEW conspiracy against her, since she has to face the mystery Joker spot on next week’s show. Jamie Hayter is ready for her match against Toni Storm, and if she ends up facing Baker next, Baker says the better woman will come out on top.

Match #3: Danhausen vs Tony Nese (with Smart Mark Sterling)

This is Danhausen’s first match in AEW. He has nice new gear, a cape, and fun video and music. Tony Neese gets nothing, and is already in the ring prior to the match. Danhausen’s ring announcement tells us he “claims to be 6’7” and 300 pounds”.

None of this is true.

The bell rings, Danhausen throws a curse at Neese, and Neese DESTROYS Danhausen with a Running Nese into the corner. Nese follows with a pin and that’s the match.

Mark Sterling asks the crowd why Danhausen deserves an entrance but Tony Nese does not. Nese hits another Running Nese to Danhausen’s head, and gets ready for another when we SEND HOOK.

Hook’s music accompanies the cold hearted handsome devil to the ring, and as he stalks closer to it Sterling and Nese hop out and leave, happy to take the win and not a beating. Danhausen, standing now, offers his hand to HOOK. HOOK accepts, and we have witnessed  the birth of HOOKhausen!

It’s time for the contract negotiation and signing between MJF and Wardlow. The ring has a long table in it, lined with security guards. Mark Sterling and Shawn Spears, in a white suit with matching steel chair, are also present. Wardlow is led into the arena in handcuffs, as the video board reads BOO WARDLOW. The crowd does so, because this is Long Island and MJF is king around these parts. We go to a Dark Side of the Ring parody video, narrated by Chris Jericho. Jericho incredulously asks if this video is pro-MJF, then asks how much he’s getting paid and continues.

MJF’s music plays, and he enters the arena in an MJF branded #55 Islanders sweater, to adoring cheers. This whole segment is just perfection, and I can’t cherry pick quotes and do it justice. I mean, I can say “mensch of the cench” is golden and hopefully you get motivated to seek this segment out.

In order to earn his match at Double or Nothing, Wardlow will have to get whipped not one, not two (etc) but - Shawn Spears? - TEN times. A great nod to Spears’s former WWE life. After the beating, Wardlow will have to beat Spears in a steel cage match. Wardlow laughs, but MJF rightly points out that Wardlow is 0-2 in cage matches. The special guest referee for that match will be … MJF.

Wardlow tries to sign the contract, but can’t because of the handcuffs. MJF, frustrated, has the cuffs removed, always a bad idea. Wardlow signs the contract and proceeds to flip the table and attack security. Wardlow grabs MJF as he tries to escape the ring, but Mark Sterling jumps on Wardlow’s back, allowing MJF and Spears to back down the entrance ramp as Wardlow smashes Sterling through the table.

Video of Samoa Joe, confident he can defeat whoever his mystery opponent is in the Owen because all he’s fought since he got to AEW is Jokers. He’ll win the tournament and then go after Jay Lethal and company.

Match #4: Jungle Boy vs Ricky Starks for the FTW Championship

Taz was great on commentary for this one. A fun back and forth between two guys with similar styles, letting Jungle Boy show off his speed and athleticism while Starks was a more technical and heelish wrestler. As an aside, it’s easy to forget how hard it must be to do that spot where you bridge out of a pin. The core strength it must take to do that is stunning. 

Another thing I noticed was Starks leaving nail marks in the mat while Jungle Boy had the Snare Trap locked in. It added a bit of desperation to the escape attempt. 

Later in the match, Starks was getting ready to cheat when Swerve Strickland appeared to stop him. While the distraction did lead to Jungle Boy applying a pin, the referee decided it was more important to yell at Swerve, who at no point entered the ring. By the time the referee regained focus, Starks was in control and hit Roshambo to retain the FTW title. 

Christian Cage and Luchasaurus headed down to the ring to console Jungle Boy after the loss. Christian intentionally bumping Swerve as he passed him. Swerve took offense, and jumped onto the ring apron to argue with Cage. Luchasaurus as the voice of reason between the two men was a funny visual. Keith Lee’s music then hit so he could also stand in the entryway and look at the tag team champs as Swerve backed off. Cage was left alone in the ring with the distraught Jungle Boy, and offered him a pat on the shoulder and some kind words. Taz tells us that it’s time for him to go, and JR asks if he’d like a hug. Taz says; “I’ll hug ya later” and i really hope he did.

The Jericho Appreciation Society is here to celebrate their victory over Eddie Kingston, Santana, and Ortiz. There’s a lil podium in the ring and they all take turns gloating. Jericho tells us that Eddie has to stay home and console his wife, but if he can’t do that Eddie can have her call Jericho. Daniel Garcia takes his turn on the podium next, saying “every time a pro wrestler steps into the ring with a sports entertainer, the sports entertainer wins.”

That line cues John Moxley’s music, and he saunters through the crowd to the ring. As he does so, commentary reminds us of the long history between Mox and Jericho, and it’s surprising to realize how much has happened between the two in the, what, two years this company has existed?

Jericho says he’ll give Moxley one chance to leave, since he’s outnumbered five to one. Mox smirks as Bryan Danielson’s theme plays. Danielson is joined by Wheeler Yuta and Lord William Regal, and the three head down to stand with Moxley.

Jericho notes that the Blackpool Combat Club is still outnumbered four to five. The crowd begins to chant “YOU FUCKED UP” as Santana, Ortiz, and Eddie Kingston jump onto the other side of the ring apron. Surrounded, the JAS prepares to fight and gets assaulted. The good guys win out, and His Lordship William Regal absolutely jacks Jericho with a punch to the face before the heels can get out of the arena.

A video talking about Thunder Rosa and Serena Deeb plays, featuring Rosa’s mentor Dustin Rhodes talking up both women before their Double or Nothing championship match.

Jeff Hardy vs Darby Allin will be an Anything Goes match!

Match #5: Toni Storm vs Jamie Hayter, first round of the Owen

Baker and Rebel accompanied Hayter at the entrance, Baker in a Penguins sweater to antagonize the crowd. Toni Storm entered alone, and I always smile when she comes out. She’s clearly happy here, pointing out individual fans and soaking in the cheers. 

This was another good outing for Hayter, this match saw her in control for the majority. I think she’s gotten better recently, and letting her use her power against Storm really highlighted her improvement. She had some vicious looking moves, including a superplex Falcon Arrow and a chokeslam to Storm on the apron. She also used a chokeslam into a backbreaker over her knee, but that may not have been intentional. 

All that Hayter love on my part is for naught, as Toni Storm was able to get the win with a Storm Zero and move on in the tournament, leaving the Hayter / Baker match for another day. 

Scorpio Sky talks himself up in a video next, in preparation for his upcoming defense of the TNT title against Frankie Kazarian.

Frankie is then interviewed in the back area when Sammy Guevara and Tay Conti interrupt, telling Kaz that he’s going to see the real Scorpio and he shouldn’t trust Sky. Frankie tells Guevara to go be unlikeable somewhere else.

We get our super fast rundown of the next few shows courtesy of Excalibur, who tells us next week is Wild Card Wednesday as both Dr. Britt Baker DMD and Samoa Joe will face their mystery opponents in the Owen Hart Foundation Tournament. And speaking of that…

Main Event: Jeff Hardy (with Matt Hardy) vs Darby Allin (with Sting), first round of the Owen

The second they announced this match was rules optional, you knew what you were gonna get and both men absolutely delivered. Chairs, ladders, and the steel ring steps all featured prominently. If you enjoy the kind of matches that these guys have historically put on, then you owe it to yourself to check this one out. Darby going full Jeff and destroying a coffin of chairs with a Swanton Bomb was a highlight, and Jeff doing a Swanton of his own onto the upturned steel steps to match was just insane.

The whole match was nuts, and the finish was just as surprising. Allin got the upper hand and hit the Coffin Drop on Hardy for a two count, but Hardy was able to roll through into a pinfall of his own for three. Jeff moves on in the tournament, and all four men share hugs and handshakes. The Undisputed Elite and Young Bucks walked onto the entrance, as Adam Cole pointed menacingly at Jeff Hardy as he talked trash with his friends. 

The beginning of Rat in the Kitchen, a show Mrs. Pequeño and I love, tells us our work here is done.

I really liked tonight’s episode of Dynamite. It was a little more plot heavy, which makes sense as they need to fully build the card of Double or Nothing. The matches all moved stories further, and we had some good ones in both of the Owen Tournaments. 

I questioned moving Jeff Hardy on in the Owen over Darby, but I think the move is to protect Darby while letting Cole get more heel heat by destroying Hardy on his way to winning the tournament. Also, since I mentioned Cole winning, we’re giving predictions here. I’m pulling for Ruby Soho on the women’s side of the tournament. Joker predictions? Let’s say CSRO and Athena, formerly Cesaro and Ember Moon. 

I didn’t love the Danhausen debut squash, but it was in service of the HOOKhausen story so I’ll adopt a wait and see attitude on that. 

If you’re short on time and have the option, here are tonight’s five good things.

1- All three Owen Hart Foundation Tournament matches were outstanding, and worth a watch. Toni Storm vs Jamie Hayter showed off how far Hayter has come, while letting Storm hit some solid offense and get the win. Adam Cole vs Dax Harwood was a great showcase of two guys showcasing their talents and their influences. The main event was insane, and was exactly what I hoped the first outing between Darby Allin and Jeff Hardy would be.

2- MJF and Wardlow’s contract signing segment was perfect, tip to tail. It was funny, it let the Long Island fans play their part, and it kept Wardlow looking powerful.

3- The Jericho Appreciation Society bit was also funny, and we got to see Lord Steven Regal punch Jericho in the mouth!

4- HOOKHausen’s inception came at the cost of Danhausen’s debut, but one should watch for the historic beginning of what will be one of pro wrestling’s greatest tag teams. 

5- CM Punk and Hangman Page had a great promo battle to continue the build to the AEW Championship match at Double or Nothing.

I appreciate you stopping by, and would love it if you drop your thoughts in the comments section below. You can also follow me on Twitter @ElOsoPequeno, where I try to remember to post whenever I update the blog. I recap Raw, Dynamite, and Rampage weekly, and recap anything else I happen to watch. There’s also a weekly wrap up on Fridays, and I’ll do predictions before any big AEW or WWE pay per premium live events.

Have a good one!