AEW Dynamite Recap from 5/18/2022

 It’s Thursday morning (afternoon)! You know what that means!

It means I have had some stuff to do this morning, so I apologize for the super late Dynamite recap. Turns out when you don’t want to be a mechanic anymore, but switch your resume to public on Indeed, folks don’t tend to read the part that says “looking to move on from the field.”

What I’m saying is, thanks for reading and tell your friends, enemies, lovers, exes, your grandpa, your auntie…the sooner we all work together to turn this endeavor into a real career, the sooner Mrs. Pequeño can stop threatening to sell my giant toolbox for twenty bucks.

Also, any thoughts on an alliterative name for the Dynamite recap? Drop 'em in the comments!

Opening Contest: Samoa Joe vs - JOKER - , first round of the Owen Hart Foundation Tournament

Our Joker for this match is…JOHNNY ELITE! Formerly John Morrison, Johnny Drip-Drip, Johnny Mundo…you’ve seen him somewhere or another, I assure you. I was introduced to him through the miracle that was Lucha Underground, personally.

This was a good match with contrasting styles. You knew whoever they put against Joe was going to take some stiff offense, and Johnny really did that. Joe opened the match with some devastating chops. After the first break, Joe landed a lariat that Elite sold with an insane tornado spin. Johnny did recover, and hit his signature fallaway slam / 450 splash combo for a really close two count. He followed with Starship Pain (although possibly a different name away from WWE). Joe got knees up for that, set him up with a series of strikes, and lifted Johnny Elite to the top of a turnbuckle. The brutal spinning muscle buster led to the 1-2-3 and the pinfall victory for Samoa Joe. 

Immediately after the match, Jay Lethal, Sonjay Dutt, and Satnam Singh stormed the ring to attack Samoa Joe. Lethal whacked Joe’s arm with a pipe before Trent Beretta, Chuck Taylor, and Rocky Romero ran out with steel chairs to stop the attack.

A locker room interview between Lexi Nair and the Hardys followed. Lexi broke the news that Jeff was medically cleared to compete against Adam Cole. The Young Bucks then arrived to offer their thoughts and prayers. Bucks were concerned that if Jeff were to compete, Cole would kick his ass. Matt let them know they shouldn’t worry, since Jeff is a legit Hardy and not a Hardy cosplayer. Matt warned the Bucks that they would get their asses kicked if they interfered in Jeff and Cole’s match tonight.

CM Punk’s music hit, and he entered the Texas based arena with a t shirt that read “Abortion Rights Are Human Rights!”. He soaks in the cheers before heading over to the commentary table and fist bumping Tony Schiavone and Jim Ross. Excalibur was a little far, so he got a finger point, and Excalibur exclaimed, “Hey nice shirt!”

Match #2: Konosuke Takeshita vs Hangman Adam Page

Takeshita went right after Page and didn’t let up. There was a lot of apron based offense from both men in this one, and Takeshita was allowed to look great against the champ. Konosuke even busted out a Helluva Kick, which Excalibur mentioned was innovated by El Generico. I’m gonna have to find more of this guy, he’s amazing. 

Takeshita managed to duck the Buckshot lariat, and hit both a sweet Jackknife powerbomb and a running knee strike for two count pins. Several more reversals, as they made a point to show that Takeshita really is a force, but when he went for a flying knee Page hit a well timed discus lariat to knock Takeshita out of the air. He followed with a Buckshot lariat. Hangman then stared out at CM Punk and hit GTS for the pinfall, which Punk just loved. 

Afterward, Punk left commentary and walked the ramp, where Page met him face to face. The crowd was clearly in Punk’s favor tonight, and a frustrated Hangman shoved past him on his way out of the arena.

Fuego del Sol then called out the House of Black, and revealed pals Pres10 Vance and Evil Uno as teammates. Fuego del Sol has a death wish, apparently.

Match #3: Swerve Strickland and Keith Lee vs The Workhorsemen

This was a glorified squash, but a fun one. Lee was allowed to bask in his “Bask in his Glory” chants, Swerve had a lot of fun dodging attacks and letting people run into his massive partner. Their tag team finisher was employed pretty quickly, and Lee and Strickland kept their momentum chugging along.

Lee grabbed a microphone and told us that with that win, he and Swerve should have earned a match with the tag team champs. He was immediately interrupted by Ricky Starks, with Will Hobbs, saying, “that’s enough out of you, Rex from Toy Story.” I chuckled. Some funny back and forth followed, and then Jurassic Express arrived with Christian Cage. 

Cage took part in some more insults before challenging BOTH teams at Double or Nothing for the Tag Team Championship. He also challenged Jungle Boy to get his win back from the guy who beat him last week and the guy who caused the loss. So it’s Jungle Boy vs Swerve Strickland vs Ricky Starks next week!

Tony Schiavone was in the interview spot with Red Velvet and her former pal Kris Statlander. They had some back and forth, then Jade Cargill and Kiera Hogan arrived. Jade let Statlander know that Red Velvet was just pretending to be her friend (!). Jade told Tony to cut the shit, and that was that.

MJF then arrived to talk, and to hit Wardlow with a belt ten times per their match stipulation. 

Sign seen: Xenoblade is a way better game series than Earthbound!

MJF reminded the crowd that they’re scummy, and that if Wardlow retaliated during this beating he would forfeit their match and lose a chance at an AEW contract.

A very dramatic garage door opened on Wardlow in handcuffs, flanked by security. Wardlow no sold the first seven strikes delivered by MJF, laughing the whole time. MJF let Shawn Spears hit Wardlow with the last couple lashes, which did get a wince out of Wardlow. MJF then lined up for the last whack, but kicked him in the junk instead. MJF followed with several belt strikes while Wardlow was down. Shawn Spears picked Wardlow up and held him, as MJF donned his Dynamite Diamond Ring and punched Wardlow in the face. Spears followed with a C4, and pinned Wardlow as MJF performed the three count. Further berating continued, and we went to commercials.

Rappongi Vice cut a promo next, calling out FTR. They want the Ring of Honor tag championships, but what next? The IWGP tag championships, then AEW? They then went for the cheap shot, saying, “All you gotta do is accept…I know Bret would.”

Match #4: Kyle O’Reilly vs Rey Fenix, round one of the Owen

While we got some fun stuff from Fenix, it was Kyle O’Reilly dominating this matchup. His strikes kept Rey grounded, and he focused on Rey’s recently injured arm a lot. Fenix did perform an amazing plank powerbomb for a two count. The finish was fantastic, as Rey dove through the bottom ropes for a cutter, but O’Reilly caught him in an armbar. That forced the submission, and Kyle moved on in the tournament, where he’ll face Samoa Joe next week.

The big group promo battle between the Jericho Appreciation Society and the Blackpool Combat Club with friends Eddie Kingston, Santana, and Ortiz was up next. We got no pyro and no sing along, because we cheered for the BCC when they were using the numbers game against Jericho. 

Jericho ran down Regal first, telling him he was a “waste of potential” that was “fired from every company he’s ever worked for.” Chris then pointed out that everybody in the ring had their differences, reminding Mox of his eye for an eye match with Santana, and Bryan of his rivalry with Eddie Kingston. He then threatened to throw a fireball at Lord William Regal, because HE’S A WIZARD!

Regal retorted that for twenty one years, whenever they were on a show together, Regal would remove Jericho’s toothbrush from his bag and insert it into his butt. Yikes.

Jericho was about to challenge the BCC to the third annual Stadium Stampede match, but Jon Moxley cut him off, saying they won’t be doing that sports entertainment bullshit. It was a different time and place then. Moxley said they will have an anything goes match, “the beautiful violent art” of pro wrestling versus sports entertainment, “a bunch of bullshit.”

Eddie challenged Jericho to fight then and there, but Chris declined. Kingston tried to follow, but Danielson intervened, which led to Danielson and Kingston getting a little rough with each other.

CAN THEY COEXIST? WHO’S TO SAY?

A quick promo from Dante Martin and Matt Sydal, commenting on how the Blackpool Combat Club can’t get along because they’re obsessed with violence. That’s why Martin and Sydal can defeat them.

Match #5: Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D., vs -JOKER-, round one of the Owen

Full disclosure: I am a shameless Maki Itoh mark, and I had to rewatch this match because I was trying to see through tears as I scream-laugh-cried over her entrance.

This was a blast, if you’re into fun silly stuff. Once Maki realized who she was facing, the former tag team partners smiled and hugged. Britt then explained that she was going to be moving on, and Maki gave the ok and laid down for the pin. Maki then surprised Baker with a rollup attempt, getting a two count. Britt realized she’d been had and slapped Itoh, who started crying before taking advantage of a sympathetic Dr. Baker by stomping her foot. A quick Lockjaw attempt by Britt led to another rollup from Maki. Britt then took control throughout the commercial break, but Itoh recovered and some back and forth followed. Baker tried slamming the Iron Headed One into the turnbuckle, but Itoh laughed it off. After a second head smash, Maki did some insane laughter before slamming her own head into the turnbuckle several times. She lined Britt up for a monster headbutt, followed by a tornado DDT for a pin. Itoh went for the Kokeshi headbutt, but Baker moved. A quick recovery allowed Itoh-chan to connect with the attack, but only got a two count. Britt got up and hit Maki with a thrust kick, forcing her to the ground. Baker applied the Lockjaw, and the Cutest In The World was forced to submit.

Toni Storm’s music hit, and she headed out to the entrance for a staredown with Britt. They will face off in the next round of the tournament.

Tony Schiavone was in the ring when we returned, talking about the upcoming pay per premium live event, when he was interrupted by Serena Deeb. She called him out for saying Deeb couldn’t beat Thunder Rosa, then Deeb called Dustin Rhodes out for doing the same. Dustin came to the ring, where Deeb talked some more about being disrespected. Thunder Rosa’s music then played her down the ramp, and Serena took the opportunity to slap Dustin. When Rosa went after Deeb, Dustin held her back and I legit thought he was going to sidewalk slam her. An errant Thunder Rosa elbow dropped Rhodes, and that distracted Rosa enough for Deeb to grab the women’s championship and hit Thunder Rosa with it a few times. 

Main Event: Jeff Hardy vs Adam Cole, round two of the Owen

Cole attacked Hardy on the ramp and this one was never in doubt. Jeff was barely cleared in time for the match, and his battle with Darby Allin last week did some lingering damage. 

Cole dominated throughout the beginning, and had time during the break to rest a few times, sitting in the ring and later resting against the corner of the ropes. Hardy managed a surprise stunner and a twist of fate, but a missed Swanton Bomb led to Cole lowering the Boom on Hardy for the pinfall victory.

Madness followed to close out the show! Matt entered the ring to check on Jeff, and to argue with Adam Cole. The Young Bucks then distracted the Hardys, allowing Cole to hit both Jeff and Matt from behind. The Bucks were next to strike, when Darby Allin and Sting ran down to save the Hardys. They were held off by ReDragon, who brought some chairs to even out the shmozz. The show ended with Sting having his leg wrapped in a chair and brutalized.

American Dad let us know that our work here is done.

What a bonkers ending! The jokers were fun, although I know a lot of people were hoping for Cesaro and maybe Athena - those were my picks. I will never complain about a surprise appearance from the Fired Idol, Maki Itoh, but I get that she’s not for everybody. Johnny Elite will always put a fun match on as well, and he sold the hell out of Joe’s offense tonight. 

I think the right people won in the Owen matches, and the losers all have built in storylines to follow up their exits from the tournament. The Hardys seem to be on a collision course with the Bucks. Fenix can team with Death Triangle against House of Black. Itoh and Johnny Elite were just fun one-offs. Double or Nothing is gonna be a blast, and I’m looking forward to watching it with all of you, dear readers.

We wrap up, as we always do, by giving you the TL;DR of the show, with five good things from tonight’s show:

1- The opening match was a good one, as surprise guest Johnny Elite put on a fun contest with the monster known as Samoa Joe. Super stiff, and fun to watch!

2- Page vs Takeshita, with Punk on commentary, was amazing! I love Punk’s insights, and the match itself was well paced and full of highlights. Takeshita is a genuine superstar, and AEW is doing well by letting him go out against big name talent and shine.

3- O’Reilly and Rey Fenix were similar to Joe and Elite in the striker vs high flier context. I would have liked Rey to win, but I understand the stories both these guys are telling and the way Kyle focused on the arm was fantastic.

4- The Jericho Appreciation Society and Blackpool Combat Club segment was funny, set up what should be a hell of a match, and also let us know far too much about Lord William Regal’s dental hygiene practices. Revenge, it would seem, is a dish best served from one’s rectum.

That was gross, and I regret typing it. 

5- Maki Itoh, the Cutest In The World, the Fired Idol, the Iron Head…look, it’s obviously our match of the night because it was funny and I adore that foul mouthed princess. Britt still got the win, and she was able to show off some fun spots at the beginning as well. 

I appreciate you stopping by, and would love it if you drop your thoughts in the comments section below. You can also follow me on Twitter @ElOsoPequeno, where I try to remember to post whenever I update the blog. I recap Raw, Dynamite, and Rampage weekly, and recap anything else I happen to watch. There’s also a weekly wrap up on Fridays, and I’ll do predictions before any big AEW or WWE pay per premium live events.

Have a good one!