AEW Rampage, 5/6/2022

 Early Rampage this week, which is fine by me. Hockey seems to be starting after, and we have a new The Last Drive In with Joe Bob Briggs on Shudder, which is the primary reason I don’t review Smackdown most Fridays. It’s a surprise double horror movie show, and Mrs. Pequeño and I usually watch both and, occasionally, the movie after. That’s like 3am we finish up! So, on that note, here are five good things from tonight’s Rampage.

1- The opening tag team match was a great start to the show, and everybody looked fantastic.

2- HOOK and Danhausen’s segment after the Hook match was funny, and moved towards the dream team of HOOKhausen.

3- Riho and Yuka Sakazaki had a fast paced contest to earn the last spot in the Owen Tourney.

4- The Men of the Year segment pushed that tale along while justifying the elimination of the extra TNT title.

5- Jay Lethal and Konosuke Takeshita had a brutal looking main event.

And now that those are out of the way, let’s get on with the show!

Opening contest: Ruby Soho and Toni Storm vs Jamie Hayter and Dr. Britt Baker, DMD

This was a good opener! The teams had built to this over the last few weeks, with Hayter and Storm set to meet in the first round of the Owen Hart Foundation Tournament (we’re just gonna call it The Owen from here on out). Toni and Jamie showed some great chemistry to start, and I’m looking forward to their singles matchup.

This may have been my favorite Jamie Hayter match since she debuted in AEW. I really thought she looked strong and fluid in all her offense tonight. The backbreaker she laid into Soho about halfway through the performance was especially brutal. The faces did end up with the win, as Toni Storm got a quick rollup victory to wrap up this one.

Eddie Kingston then called in to the show, as we watched the announce table react. Eddie, of course, was terrific. His passion came through even on the phone, as he told Jericho how his wife reacted to him coming home after last week’s attack. He promised to hurt Jericho real bad.

Tony Neese and his representation, Smart Mark Sterling, want to end the undefeated streak of Danhausen next week. I was so sure he was challenging HOOK that I actually wrote it in my notes before he finished the promo. Shows what I know!

Match #2: HOOK vs JD Drake

Hook actually ate some offense in this contest, selling a chop really well before he HEADBUTTED the follow up chop. That’s one way to block it. HOOK locked in the Red Rum for the submission victory while Chris Jericho did his best Danny Torrance impression, chanting RED RUM RED RUM!

Danhausen then announced his presence by yelling, “HOOK! It’s Danhausen!” Danhausen wants HOOK in his corner for his match against Tony Neese. The crowd was pretty into it, chanting HOOKHausen, but Danhausen grew impatient and poked HOOK. This was the wrong move, and HOOK shoved Danhausen to the ground. Saddened, Danhausen presented HOOK a gift before leaving the ring - a bag of chips with a little bow tied around it. I was heartbroken.

Dax and Cash are being interviewed, and Dax needs Adam Cole to know he likes being a good guy now, but he used to be a bastard. He’s going to bring that guy back because he needs to win The Owen for his partner, his family, and for Owen Hart.

Match #3: Riho vs Yuka Sakazaki, Owen qualifier

This was another fine women’s match, they’re two for two tonight! Some great back and forth wrestling that led to some big moves by both the Magical Girl Yuka and Back-In-Black Riho. She’s not a villain now - Jericho pointed out that she’s still smiling and maybe just likes the color black. I never noticed how quickly Riho hits the Dragon Suplex; it makes sense considering she was trained by Kenny Omega, though. Riho did get the win via inside cradle, and our women’s Owen Hart Foundation Tournament brackets are set:

I took this screenshot, hence the odd angle.

I didn’t know we were getting a joker in this tournament as well. I legitimately have no idea who they’ll put in the spot against Dr. Britt, but they will have their work cut out for them.

Shawn Spears is seated with many, many chairs. He lets Wardlow know that even though he was there to build Wardlow up, even Superman had his Kryptonite. As he left, a chair labeled Giant Killer was revealed. Shawn, we’ve seen this man eat chair shots like I eat pizza. You have chosen poorly.

Dan Lambert is here with the Men of the Year, and we got some trash talking about Baltimore even though Lambert is from here and was wearing an Orioles shirt! If you were wondering, they are still bad guys. Ethan Page says he was going to accept the mixed tag match he promised Sammy Guevara and Tay Conti, but he doesn’t want his daughter watching the two of them with their tongues down each other’s throats. Fair enough.

Frankie Kazarian joined everybody, running down Lambert and Page before asking Scorpio Sky for the title shot he was promised. Before Page could rip into him, Sky calmed everyone down and promised to be a fighting champion. Oh, he also said, “The days of the TNT Championship being passed around like Tay Conti backstage are over,” which was kinda harsh. He also told Dan Lambert that the second TNT title he wears will be going back to the American Top Team trophy case, where it was supposed to be this whole time. See, little things like that are an easy way to fix past mistakes and move forward!

Sky will face Kaz next week.

Excalibur started to preview Ricky Starks vs Jungle Boy, when Jungle Boy arrived and attacked Starks. Starks ran off, and Jungle Boy held the FTW belt high as Tarzan Boy started playing.

It’s Main Event Interview time with Mark Henry, Konosuke Takeshita, and Jay Lethal. Takeshita said he wasn’t afraid of Lethal, which Lethal felt was incredibly disrespectful. Mark Henry decided there was enough talk, as…

IT’S TIME…FOR THE MAIN EVENT. Mark Henry is the best.

Main Event: Jay Lethal (with Sonjay Dutt and Satnam Singh)  vs Konosuke Takeshita

I admit to having very little knowledge of Takeshita’s backstory, but Excalibur did a great job of telling us his history. This match was really good, and Takeshita’s offense was a highlight. Notably, a top rope lariat on Lethal looked, well, lethal. His lariats and jumping knees were fantastic, but not enough to win. Lethal hit the Lethal Injection for the pinfall, and he was quickly on the microphone after.

There’s a post match beating by Lethal, Dutt, and Singh but the Best Friends theme music hits. The boys run to the ring and fight off Dutt and Lethal, but Singh throws Trent Barretta to the canvas and chokes Chuck Taylor. He lays Chucky T down and holds the choke, lifting and slamming him to the mat several times before Orange Cassidy hops on the apron. Singh faces him down, and just before Cassidy gets his hands in his pockets, he hops down. Samoa Joe’s music plays, and he hustles to the ring with his Ring of Honor TV title and a baseball bat in tow.

Helicopter footage of Boston’s TD Garden arena tells us we’re done here, although I’ll stick around for some Hurricanes - Bruins playoff hockey.

It’s always a fun show, and today was no different. Rampage crams so much into an hour, and it never feels like it drags. 

If you would like, there’s a comments section down there for, well, your comments. I’ll be back Sunday morning with some Backlash predictions, and our good friend will be watching that premium live event with us so maybe I’ll have some insight from him. Until then, have a good one, friends!