WWE Monday Night Raw, 5/2/22

I have written two show reviews up to this point, AEW Dynamite and AEW Rampage. Now is my greatest challenge to date: writing a mostly positive review slash recap of Monday night Raw, a show I’ve followed since its inception. It’s not that I don’t love it, it’s just that SO MUCH of it is retread. There are slickly produced video packages that recap events from Smackdown, from previous Raws; hell, there are recaps from events that happened earlier in the show because WWE assumes we have the memories of goldfish. To be fair, I frequently fall into that camp.

That being said, we are gonna have a good time here if it kills us. I’ll save you the three hours and give you the new stuff that happened, and let you know if there were any great matches or segments. Seems like the best way to go, but you let me know if there’s a better way in the comments section (oh God, I’m going to turn on the comments please be nice I am not ready to handle the internet). 

Before we head into a full on Raw summary, here’s a little segment to be named later, in which I tell you five good things that happened on Raw. They might be good matches, they might be returns or things that move our never ending story forward. For tonight’s show, they are:

- The match between AJ Styles and Damian Priest was really good. Back and forth action, their feud was moved forward by the post-match events, and I’m looking forward to Edge/AJ part deux at Backlash.

- Miz TV and the short match that followed it moved some things along. I thought the segment was kinda cringe, but I also felt that way about the Sports Entertainment references on last week’s Dynamite. Ali also looked good in the handicap match, and I have high hopes for Mustafa Ali versus (not Tomasso?) Ciampa in the future.

- Seth Freakin’ Rollins appreciation night, which was relegated to literally one segment, was good. I think it’s better when you can fast forward through the questionable commercial placement mid-entrance. Seth and Cody Rhodes have good chemistry on the microphone, and that’s another match I’m looking forward to on Sunday’s Pay Per Premium Live Event.

- Doudrop and Nikki Cross becoming TEAM SCOTTISH WOMEN is something I’m very into, and not just because I love performing a perfect Scottish accent around the house. My wife probably agrees - no, I haven’t asked her, why?

- The six woman tag match to close the show was pretty fun as well. Everybody got time, Rhea and Liv kept the momentum from their breakup going, Asuka looked great, and Sonya Deville got to be the evil heel GM even though her powers were withheld tonight.

So that’s our five good things. Let’s get on to the many, many other things that happened on Monday Night Raw.

We begin with some recaps! You may have heard, on Smackdown the WWE, in their infinite wisdom, changed the tag team championship unification match to a six man tag match with zero stakes. I feel like it’s gonna lead up to Roman vs Drew at SummerSlam, if not sooner, but to tease this for weeks and then just dump everybody into a match that doesn’t mean anything, I find it disappointing.

After we have been properly recapped, Roman and pals (the Usos and Paul Heyman) head down to the ring, ask the locals to acknowledge Roman, and are promptly attacked by Randy Orton and Riddle. Drew McIntyre then comes out and stares down Roman Reigns before they have a scuffle and head to break.

The Street Profits pal around with Ezekiel, but are interrupted by Alpha Academy and Kevin Owens. They argue about Ezekiel’s very existence as a person, and we are led into matchville. The six man tag match goes about as well as every other one they have done recently, some fun stuff but nothing world breaking. A KO distraction leads to a Gable rollup, a Gable pin, and a Gable win. 

AJ Styles and Kevin Patrick inform us that AJ’s upcoming match against Damian Priest will decide whether or not Priest will be allowed at ringside during Sunday’s rematch between Styles and Edge.

We get a recap of Sonya Deville being the EVIL GM the last few weeks, and learn from Adam Pierce that the POWERS THAT BE think she’s abusing her power. He’s booked her in a 6 woman tag team match later tonight, where she will team up with Rhea Ripley and Becky Lynch against Liv Morgan, Bianca Belair, and a returning Asuka. Deville agrees and declares it will be a no holds barred match, but that’s shot down by Pierce. She will have no executive powers tonight.

Veer enters, and navigates a flurry of commercials, recaps, and ads in an attempt to squash a guy. He succeeds, and we’re all better for it. I get it, we build the guy as a monster, it doesn’t mean I need to get invested just yet. I do dig Veer’s look though. He big.

We are re-recapped into the Edge and AJ situation, and Edge accompanies Damian Priest to the ring. He would like us to know we’re not that bright, our dental hygiene is questionable, and AJ is going to receive some PUNISHMENT.

We get our second match, and I consider this the best of the night. Some good back and forth action, both AJ and Priest looked good. AJ got the win, and was rewarded by being immediately beat down by Edge and Priest. They bring the chairs out, and Finn Balor heads down to make the save! He fights the bad guys off, and the good guys stare them down the entrance ramp and share a lil’ Bullet Club “Too Sweet” finger kiss. There’s probably a better way to describe that but we’re gonna go with that for now.

Cedric Alexander really wants to reunite the Hurt Business, but MVP and Olmos aren’t interested. Ced has booked himself a match with Bobby Lashley to prove he’s a valuable asset. 

It’s the Rock’s 50th birthday today! Happy Birthday to that delightful man.

Miz TV comes next, and Mustafa Ali is the guest. Miz has kind of become the Vince McMahon substitute since Wrestlemania, and I personally feel like WWE’s attempt at meta humor and references is a bit cringe. Tonight’s segment features Ali’s mike failing, his theme music cutting out abruptly, and Miz telling Ali to cry to Twitter about it. Because, you see, in real life Ali requested his release after not being used for months, and it was denied. Anyway, Ali says the difference between him and Miz is that Miz cries to Vince when he doesn’t get his way, while Ali takes his grievances to the WWE Universe because they are all that matters to him. Theory ends up joining us to pile on Ali and also to tell us Vince has stricken Miz’s loss last week from the record. Ali would like a shot at that US title Theory is holding, and Theory is willing to let him earn one…in a handicap match, right now, against Theory and Miz. Again, maybe this is me reading too much into a dumb talkshow segment, but intentionally mispronouncing the name Mustafa feels a little racist? At the very least it makes Ali, who didn’t even have a first name for a while, look insignificant. If you’re gonna make the choice to change how it’s pronounced, at least establish that pronunciation. Ah, well.

We’re on match three of the evening, and it was good for what it was. Ali wasn’t winning this, but he looked good and made the most of his TV time. He lost after fighting Theory on the outside, then heading into the ring and getting caught by Miz in a rope-assisted Skull Crushing Finale, leading to a pinfall win for the villains. The bad guys celebrate, capped off by a selfie on the ramp. The good guy gets WRECKED by Ciampa, who seems to have an issue with young Mustafa Ali. That could be a fun feud!

It’s time for the 24-7 title, where we are sufficiently recapped and then learn Dana Brooke does not want to honeymoon with new husband Reggie. Shenanigans ensue, and the end result is Nikki A.S.H. winning the 24/7 title via quick pinfall and some shoving!

This leads into a match for that same title, which Dana wins without too much trouble. Some attempted pins after the match but Brooke retained.

We recap Asuka’s return, and a quick interview with Becky Lynch informs us that we’re all bad people for hearing her bare her soul and still supporting Asuka, a woman to whom Becky handed her title last year.

Seth Rollins is here, and they do the thing where he begins his entrance and is left to meander around for several minutes while they run commercials and recap videos. We’re told it’s Seth Appreciation Night, because Randy Orton had one so why not Seth? Cody tried to steal his spotlight, but you can’t do that because Seth IS the spotlight. I liked that line! Cody Rhodes comes out, and an argument ensues that culminates in Seth insulting Dusty Rhodes, which results in a beating. As it should.

After a quick recap, we are treated to a variation on Bobby Lashley’s entrance in which some drums beat and Bob stands atop a little rotating birthday cake. Then the Hurt Business music kicks in and he’s back to normal. Cedric Alexander is already in the ring, and you know what that means. But immediately after the bell, Olmos’s music plays and MVP and Olmos are on the ramp. MVP has a mike and distracts Bobby, allowing Ced to gain the upper hand for a bit. MVP continues to talk trash while Bob recovers and eventually gets Alexander in the Hurt Lock, possibly murdering him but definitely winning Lashley the match. Bobby then uses his staring powers to force MVP and Olmos back up the ramp, and out of the arena.

We recap Rhea Ripley and Liv Morgan breaking up, which I feel was too soon as I really liked their chemistry and they look good together. Liv is quickly interviewed by Sarah Schreiber, where she tells us that she doesn’t think she was the problem with the team (she absolutely was).

We get a recap of the AJ vs Edge feud, and run down this Sunday’s Backlash card. I’ll be writing a lil preview slash prediction blog once the lineup is set after Friday’s Smackdown, give it a look!

Dana Brooks now would like a divorce from Reggie, after he tried to take her title earlier tonight. Fortunately, R-Truth is a certified Law Man, and is available for hire. We then see a dejected Nikki sat atop a box-like structure, and Doudrop steps into frame from wherever she’s been since her Royal Rumble loss to Becky Lynch! She asks Nikki if she’s done playing around, and Nikki says yes. And so it was that we got THE MOST SCOTTISH TAG TEAM EVER MADE. I am legit excited for this, as it hopefully leads to Nikki going back to her batshit crazy persona. Mrs. Pequeno is less excited, as it definitely leads to me doing my perfect Scottish accent around the house more - it’s basically Flintheart Glomgold from DuckTales, but can only be performed at THE HIGHEST VOLUME POSSIBLE.

I’m a peach.

The main event is pretty fun too! The six person tag match has become kind of a low stakes staple lately, but this was done well. Liv and Rhea kept some momentum, Bianca looked good, and getting to see Asuka back in action was fun. Deville trying to use her GM powers to force the ref to count a pin - while she was actively hanging from the ropes by her feet - was a good visual representation of her commitment to abusing her power. Bianca broke that pin up, saving Liv, and Liv was able to hit ObLIVion and get the pinfall for the good guys. 

Some good segments, as noted in the pre-TR;DL segment that we’ll think of a name for in the future. As far as a go home show goes, we’ve definitely seen worse!