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Well hello there, and welcome to the incredibly timely Rampage Report, with a side of Smackdown. Real life went and reared its ugly head, leading to a bit of a delay in me getting a chance to watch both Rampage and SmackDown, so I apologize for that, dear reader. I know you have a choice in your recap blogs, and I appreciate you flying with Let’s Watch Some Wrestling. I also finished up that Top Ten list I mentioned on Casual Friday, so I’ll post that tomorrow. On the plus side, there wasn’t a pay per premium live event this weekend, so at least I’m not too terribly behind!
Opening Contest: Eddie Kingston vs. Jake Hager
Eddie was holding a grudge from his unjust elimination from the Battle Royale on Dynamite, so he called out Hager for this one. Remember, this was a taped Rampage, so there’s some lowered expectations for the performers and for the crowd response.
There wasn’t a need for that, though. These two were clubberin’ the hell outta one another! Hager obviously had the power and size advantage, but that’s nothing compared to Eddie’s heart and ability to eat offense like a kid eats Dippin Dots. At one point Hager had a mounted ten punch on Kingston on top of the turnbuckle, only for Eddie to lift him while Hager was still punching Eddie’s head! That led to a slam by Eddie, TWO spinning backfists, and a pinfall victory for Kingston.
Three stars! Eddie and Hager are a good matchup, as Eddie believes wrestling is real and Hager has experience in actual MMA fighting. I’m sure they weren’t at a hundred percent after their battle royale appearances, but you wouldn’t believe it from the match they put on.
Tony Schiavone was interviewing Britt Baker and her pals Jamie Hayter and Rebel. She was offended that Toni Storm touched the AEW Women’s Championship after Toni helped Thunder Rosa on Dynamite. Britt said that the next champion will definitely be from Team DMD.
A nice video package followed, with Ortiz getting some camera time as he blamed himself for not realizing that Chris Jericho was a selfish jerk. He’s going to take Jericho’s hair on Road Rager this Wednesday, and then what kind of rock star will Jericho be?
Match #2: Jay Lethal and Satnam Singh (w/Sonjay Dutt) vs. Davey Vega and Matt Fitchett
This was Singh’s first in ring action, and Lethal teased starting the match before he tagged out to the giant. Satnam clearly was built with the Big Show moveset, as he used a running knee to start and then did the "Shhh, Chest Slap in the Corner" spot. Both Vega and Fitchett attacked him, but Singh was able to hit a lumbering crossbody on the pair. A tag to Lethal led to a double Lethal Injection and a victory for the bad guys. A beatdown followed, with Singh hitting a decent looking spinning, throwing Razor’s Edge on one of the victims.
It was a squash, and we don’t rate squashes. Satnam Singh looked pretty good for his first outing, though! He hit his spots and the jobbers sold his power and intimidation factor.
Lexi Nair was looking to interview HOOK and Danhausen, but said they were nowhere to be found. Danhausen pulled up in a golf cart, and said HOOKhausen was happy to be undefeated and went out and bought “PT Cruisers or Corvettes or something.” A golf cart is not those things, buddy. Lexi asked where HOOK was, and Danhausen drove off. HOOK pulled up in a sweet Stone Cold-looking camo ATV, gave Lexi a sunglasses-down look, and sped off. That was silly, but silly’s what we’re going for with these two.
Match #3: Kris Statlander vs. Red Velvet
Red Velvet had the Baddies with her, seated in their usual spot. Statlander is no longer an alien, and as such is now billed from Long Island, New York. I’ll miss the Galaxy’s Greatest Alien, but there’s a ceiling on that gimmick and Statlander has been super over since her return. So it’s for the best.
Velvet attacked Statlander as she got near the ring and ate a great looking powerslam for her efforts. Kris then lifted Velvet and military press tossed her into the ring to get things officially started. There was some good back and forth, and the finish was great, as the former alien avoided a spin kick from Red Velvet and turned that into a pump handle Styles Clash (or Friday Night Fever, per Excalibur) for the win.
Any win over a Baddie brings a beating, and this was no exception. Anna Jay ran down to make a save, but the good guys were still outnumbered and she, too, was taken down. Athena’s music hit and she made it down the ramp before being held back by officials.
Four stars! This was a great match! The crowd was really supportive, and both women responded by putting on a terrific performance. Red Velvet was getting active boos, and she gave right back to the crowd, yelling and throwing some good looking offense at Statlander. I think this might be the best I’ve ever seen Red Velvet, if I’m being honest. Kris looked strong in the win, we progressed the Athena vs. Jade Cargill story, and Statlander kept her momentum going.
Miro was featured in a video package to hype his match with Ethan Page, a qualifier for the All Atlantic Championship. Ethan Page responded in a backstage promo, saying that Miro blames his God for his failures. Ethan believes in himself, prays to himself, and looks up to himself. That doesn’t make sense, but it was passionate, and that counts for a lot in pro wrestling!
It’s Main Event Interview time! Will Ospreay is in AEW to separate the sheep from the GOATs, and Trent rebuts by calling Will and his buddies “nerdasses”. FTR says they’re the actual best team in the world, and that sums things up.
IT’S TIME…FOR THE MAIN EVENT!
FTR and Trent Beretta vs. Will Ospreay and Aussie Open
Ospreay and Dax started things out with some fine wrestling, but Trent suffered an injured knee from a diving attack going into the commercial break. That was blood in the water for Aussie Open, another team your humble WWE and AEW focused blogger isn’t familiar with. They looked great though, keeping Trent away from his corner and wearing him down until Trent was able to get the hot tag to Dax. That swung things in the favor of FTR and Trent, working up to an amazing powerbomb/German suplex/jackknife pin attempt that was a thing of beauty.
A flurry of offense by the New Japan wrestlers ended in a broken up tag attempt by a hobbling Beretta. Ospreay managed to take out both Dax and Cash outside the ring, but somehow that allowed Trent to hit Strong Zero and get the surprising pinfall!
Four stars! I really think this match, and really anything featuring the New Japan Pro Wrestling invaders, would have benefitted from a video package highlighting their strengths. I’m no NJPW hater, but I’m also unfamiliar with the product aside from a few names like Ospreay. It would have done a world of good for us filthy casuals! That said, the match was great, and I was genuinely shocked that Trent got the win. I figured the injury was the perfect excuse for the bad guys to get the win while keeping the AEW talent looking strong.
That was a really good hour of wrestling! The main and the women’s match were standouts, but really the whole hour was good stuff.
As for our weekly Side of SmackDown, we had five matches and four clean finishes. What’s goin on, WWE?! I kid, I kid. SmackDown was also a really decent show this week. Some highlights:
Drew McIntyre and Sheamus fought to a double DQ, in the rare opening match segment on WWE programming. A Money in the Bank qualifier, this was one of those Big Meaty Men Slappin’ Meat affairs we love so much here at Let’s Watch Some Wrestling! It steadily grew in intensity until both men grabbed steel chairs and whaled on each other for the double disqualification. Later in the show, both Drew and Sheamus would demand Adam Pearce put them into Money in the Bank, and I imagine they’ll both get in.
It was reported that Cody Rhodes will be out NINE MONTHS, but his surgery was successful. Nine months is right around the time we’re on the Road to WrestleMania, so there’s a chance we see Cody back for the Royal Rumble in what would be the biggest return since…Edge? Cena?
Lacey Evans beat Xia Li in a squash-adjacent match, qualifying her for Money in the Bank. So Lacey is a SmackDown superstar and a face now. Good! Let’s stick with that!
Ronda Rousey talked some smack about Natalya, leading into a challenge by Shotzi and a pretty decent match. Shotzi got a good amount of offense in before a kinda sloppy Piper’s Pit and an armbar ended her night. A Natalya attack afterward may have led to an injury, so we’ll keep an eye on that. Ronda and Nattie are scheduled for a Women’s Championship match at Money in the Bank.
We have a new Intercontinental Champ, and he is GUNTHER. A fun match that let Ricochet hit some of his trademark offense while still showing Gunther’s ring awareness. Gunther caught Ricky out of a few different dives before he murdered the poor child and took his cummerbund.
Riddle beat Sammy Zayn in a really good main event, and that means we’re getting Riddle vs Roman Reigns soon. Sammy looked good in defeat, reversing an RKO into a Blue Thunder Bomb before having his own Helluva Kick reversed into an RKO. The Usos ran down to jump Riddle after the win, but the active half of RK-Bro had insurance in the form of a hidden kendo stick to beat his assailants. Riddle has been on a tear and I’m really excited to see him lose to Roman in entertaining fashion!
So, both Friday shows were good watches! I apologize again for the delay in the post, hopefully I’ll be back on my regular schedule for Raw, Dynamite, and the Friday shows next week.
Hey, I appreciate you stopping by, and would love it if you drop your thoughts in the comments section below. You can also follow me on Twitter @ElOsoPequeno, where I try to remember to post whenever I update the blog. I recap Raw, Dynamite, and Rampage weekly, and recap anything else I happen to watch. There’s also a weekly wrap up on Fridays, and I’ll do predictions before any big AEW or WWE pay per premium live events.
Have a Good One!
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